Are you good at

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Are you good at
2
Sat, 05-02-2009 - 12:37pm

putting up appearances ? Keeping a happy face when internally you feel like crying or dying slowly? My AP is a master in this.I guess,most men are and we women are not.My facial expression says it all ,i cant hide what i am feeling or going through.I have to dig deep to find out what my AP is feeling and always get surprised what he says as otherwise there was no sign of it at all.Its tough.

I ask this as on friday,to my surprise,my AP wanted to be together( friday he stays home.saturday with me).I didnt ask anything as he sounded very eager and happy on phone.he came home ( i am S,he is MM),we chatted about all the stuff and laughed about.Later i tried to find out why he came on friday ,got no reasonable answer.but he sounded all happy.i tried again.he started crying and opened up to me how his W was abusing him day in and day out about the Dday!!! She has made a living hell for my MM.I couldnt believe! He had such a happy face ,all the while crying inside.I consoled him the best i could ,he went back home in the morning.

Does anyone else have an AP who is a good actor?How do you know when they are really happy or just pretending??

TIA

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Sun, 05-03-2009 - 10:55am
No reply ? So i guess only my AP is such.* sigh *
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Sun, 05-03-2009 - 1:51pm

I am absolutely able to disguise my feelings. so is MM. we wouldn't have our jobs if we let on every frustration and disappointment and gloat.

only because we know each other well can we detect things that other people miss. he knows i am upset - even before DH - because (1) he pays attention and (2) he knows what i sound like when i am truly happy and confident and relaxed. i suppose it is the same for me: even though other people may not notice, i know when he is "off."

i also know that he has his public demeanor on the phone - which he maintains anytime he is home or in the company of other people - and then he has his private, relaxed side. i don't think he is being duplicitous - i think he is being extremely cautious about letting on how much he enjoys our conversations as a protection. he has called me when he was tipsy a couple of times and those were really different and deeply emotional conversations.

so yes, my MM can hide a lot.
Mrs.