Are you a reason, a season or a lifetime

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Are you a reason, a season or a lifetime
1
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 11:21pm
There seem to be a few of you stuggling with your relationships at the moment... I thought that maybe I would share this with you all again... and maybe, just maybe it might help put a little perspective on things.

luv and hugs to you all

Sweet


Are you a reason, a season or a lifetime?



People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.



When someone is in your life for a REASON. . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.



Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 1:08am
Thanks, Sweet, for re-posting that message. I had, in fact, been thinking of it the past few days!

In my relationship with MM, I've always known the reason for it...I have definitely been able to better cope with stbxH and D, and in other little things in life. MM has been caring and supportive, and although I have experienced emotional times for the A, he helped me emotionally otherwise. Most of all, he has shown me I am still a desireable and sensuous woman.

Through my experience with MM, I have shared, grown and learned more than I have with anyone else (yes, even stbxH), and at a swifter pace. What I've learned through my A about relationships (not just romantic) is invaluable, and because of that, I've begun to heal from a lifetime of unhealthy relationships (no, not *all* my relationships have been unhealthy, lol).

It remains to be seen whether my relationship with MM is for a Season or Lifetime. I'd like to think we will always be good friends, even without an A. I don't have any lifetime friends - it seems as I move into another life stage, the old are left behind while I gather new friends. Oh, I occasionally see a few girlfriends I knew from grade school, but there is nothing I have learned from those friendships, and nothing gained for myself in a good 20 years.

You know, I was going to say that perhaps I do not have the character for long-length meaningful friendships, but then I thought I will be my children's friend for *their* lifetime. I've known stbxH for over 20 years, but wouldn't be bothered if I didn't see him again. I am like this - if there is nothing for me that is gained in the friendship, I let it slip away. Maybe this is something I need to learn and grow on still, keeping friendships.

I know I am not ready to let MM go yet, in either the A relationship or in the friendship. I am hoping I will gain (and give) for a lifetime, with this friend, and use what I've learned in other friendships...that I will learn how to do so. I will start with telling him how much I appreciate his being a friend when next I see him, as I haven't done so for a while.

Thanks again, Sweet!

Hugs,

Meow