ARGH!! Update! (long)

Avatar for ladyonalilypad
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
ARGH!! Update! (long)
2
Sat, 09-06-2003 - 10:49pm
Well bf (or whatever you want to call him since technically we aren't together) really screwed things up this time. Two weeks ago my OM told me that everything had to stop. That he couldn't do it anymore. Fine. It was hard but we talked still all the time and since then we have had sex once. No commitments.. just sex. His wife (my friend) is gone to a rehab place and will be there for another 9 weeks. (personality stuff.. basically she is a slut and has cheated on her husband... selfish.. not into her kids a lot etc.) Though she does come home on weekends. WELL! My bf (who is in love with her.. and she with him.. though she wants to work on her marriage now)anyways he just had to talk to her even though her therapists said she couldn't. I phoned for him and she said she would talk to him. He went over and apparently after she said that she was really sorry and she didn't want to hurt him but she wanted to work on her marriage, he told her about all the times her husband and I still spent/talked together. She freaked. I had phoned her today and asked her to go to the park. She asked him what was up with me asking her that? Duh I wanted to go to the park with her! So anyways I don't know what is going on over there right now.. but here is MY take on it.

When this thing started it was supposed to be for fun. Though her husband and I fell for each other we decided that we would just enjoy the time we had together and that was it. Nothing more. SHE was the one that told him she wanted to leave him and she loved my BF and she wanted to move in with him. It was her who started discussing divorce and watched him cry while she was just like stone towards him. She has the nerve to be upset over my still talking to him? She is the one that started this whole thing. Before this he had been totally faithful to her. She has cheated on him, since they first got together, at least 6 times. Probably more. Then she tells him she wants to make their marriage work and expects everything to be ok? And with us feeling the way we do for each other.. if he phones me up what does she expect me to do? What would she do if the situation were reverse? heheh I KNOW what she would do. Hell a guy that was in university with her told her he had a surprise for her and held up a condom and she went to his car with him!!

Anyways BF(?) told me that he is sorry that he didn't say it to start anything but he felt he had to be "honest" with her. BS. He is probably hoping it breaks their relationship and he can have her. Bf just left in his truck.. cell phone with him though I doubt if I call he will answer. Probably took it incase she phoned and wanted him to come and get her.

Should I feel guilty? Honestly. I don't cheat.. everything was consentual between everyone. I fell in love with him and yes, I enjoy talking to him on the phone. Our kids play together, they are best friends. So we see each other every day because of them as well.

So when will I talk to her about this? Who knows. I would like to right now. But I have the feeling her and her hubby are having it out. What will I say? Exactly what I have said on here. I will point out how she wanted to be with BF.. how this mess all happened. I will tell her what does she expect me to do when the guy I love calls me? Hang up on him? and about the one time since it was suppose to stop, that we had sex... was I supposed to say no? Would she have? I know the truth to that and so does she. Sure she can be upset because her marriage is either going to be over eventually or has some really rocky roads ahead.. and really whose fault is that? He treats her like a princess and she does NOTHING for him. (he actually told her the things that he feels he does for her and asked her if there was anything that she felt she did just for him.. she couldn't tell him anything).. she cheated on him numerous times. With his (now ex) best friend even. argh

Avatar for ladyonalilypad
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 4:02pm
anyone have any advice? I have posted a few time and noone ever responds. I am going crazy.. this really sucks. How do you guys do it for years at a time?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 4:51pm
Dear Lady,

I don't understand your question.


Edited 9/8/2003 4:59:05 PM ET by desertintherain