Arghhhh...Hate the saddness!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2010
Arghhhh...Hate the saddness!!!
6
Sat, 07-03-2010 - 8:27pm

Hello everyone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Sat, 07-03-2010 - 11:41pm

I guess you have to stop loving him that much...which we all know is just a simple little trick, eh?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 5:58am

Hi kitty,


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 2:44pm

Hi kitty,

I'm a little late to the party but I just wanted to tell you that your post struck a real chord with me!

I have suffered so much, for the exact same reasons. When I first got together with AP/BF I was married (just about 25 years) but, I fell very madly in love with AP and so I left my H. Well, we had a d-day first (something that I orchestrated actually, couldn't stand lying to H, but couldn't tell him either!).

I have been on this rollercoaster for three years now...and I have had plenty of ups and downs. I suffer from extreme depression to boot, so it has gotten pretty bad at times. It's not good for me, but at least I'm lucky in that I can sit in my room and just cry, and no one will ask questions. I really feel for those women here who are M and have to remain careful. Anyhow, I still get very sad when he leaves (sometimes it's better than others) and I have to try VERY hard to remain happy and upbeat, at least to his face. We've had too many fights when I let the sadness get to me, because the sadness comes out as "this is not good enough". At least, that's how he feels about it. There have been so many times that I wish I could stop loving him, but honestly, even if I could, I'm not sure that I would. But oh good lord, how much easier my life would have been!

Good luck to you Kitty....it no easy life and I feel for you (for all of us, really). I decided that I hated fighting and not seeing him as a result, so I try really hard to stay happy when I'm physically with him. He knows I struggle at times though, and unless I really go off the rails, he's very kind to me because of it.

Anyhow, I guess that's not advice...I wish I had an answer for you

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2010
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 5:05pm

It is so hard isn't it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 7:10pm

Oh jeez, it's the hardest thing I've ever done...and I know that I will "fall off the wagon" once again, just because it is so bloody hard! To be honest though, he doesn't get angry so

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 4:24pm

Hi Kitty,


So my question to all of you is how do I get back to hiding my sadness from him?


I'm not sure if any of us have a real answer for this one but I try my best to just think of the present moment and the happiness that creates instead of focusing on the fact that we are parting ways. I think of the next time we'll see each other and how I will make that moment memorable and worth while in the time we have each other. I try not to focus on those sad aspects of the affair. I don't like feeling emotional and negative about the situation because I want him to enjoy this time together also. I'm all smiles as much as I can under the circumstances.


Wish you all the best!

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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