Avoiding the green-eyed monster
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| Fri, 04-09-2004 - 7:10pm |
After a year, I am still trying to get to used to this situation that my MM and I are in. We realize that we can't be together right now (if ever) but I can't help but feel sick at nights and on the weekends knowing that he is with his W and his young son. He also works out of his home and she is a stay at home mom so they are together 24/7. My only relief is that he travels every other week and we do manage to see each other either every month or every other month. We are 800 miles away from each other which makes things even harder. I recognize that I spend the evenings and weekends with my husband so it's not as if I'm alone either but I just can't seem to shake this sick feeling of jealousy.
I know that this issue may not be cut and dry but any opinion on how some of you may put things in perspective may help me out. THANKS SO MUCH!

even my MM admits to being jealous - he's cute he says he is jealous of anyone who gets to spend time with me - even the grocery store clerk who gets to see me that day LOL !!!
Keep it open with him how you feel -
I tell my MM that I am having the bad jealousy - he then knows I am not liking his wife --
or I say I am having "good jealousy" which means I am ok...I envy that she gets his time but I can deal with it -
It's healthy in some aspects if you keep it healthy and not let it eat at you by thinking about it all the time
Right now my MM is with W on a work/family vacation - I could be going crazy but I just sit here and post my brains out and do my laundry - go to work - make dinner - rent movies - get out to the mall - prepare for Easter and my daughter's birthday party - go to the library - plan a vacation or take a walk or a nap or watch Jerry Springer...etc...
you just have to focus the negative energy into something positive - don't allow the evil negative energy to take away from your positive side -
Otherwise when you talk to MM it will be terrible....grouchy cranky moody etc.....
Hopefully he will understand your feelings and possibly agree - that is what is great about me and MM - we tease, joke and flirt with the jealousy thing and smile and laugh about it and it makes it easier
Kikki
I know what you mean. I still have the same problem after all this time. At least, you get to see him often even though he's 800 miles away, :). Mine is about 300 miles and I haven't seen him since Sept of 03. Due to the family & work situation there. We do email and phone a lot., but still, I miss him.
4 years and I still get jealous of the "family thing" Sometimes, I can't shake it either, but what I try to do is spice it up when we talk. And to make me feel better, :), have him tell me how much he misses and loves me. It works for a little bit anyway.
I'm not really a jealous person. Even where his wife is concerned, I don't feel terribly jealous. I guess I think of her more like a business partner. I know they do things together, but what we share, she doesn't.
I told him I would never be second fiddle. I see myself as a soloist, with my own unique role in his life.
There are only a few times I really feel jealousy. When I go to bed at night alone, I ache. I know its simply loneliness with a twinge of envy. I can almost feel him lying there, and then I have to smile. He's thinking of me.
The other times are usually when I need his comfort. Then I'm not jealous that he comforts her...I'm jealous of her access to him. I don't let that last, though. It is what it is.
The truth is that she's probably more jealous than I am. What a strange thought!
Cazrida
This jealousy thing is hard, isn't it?! The deeper the love grows, the more it seems to come out. I suppose the combination of keeping busy in our own lives and feeling that confidence that they are thinking of us helps somewhat. I guess I just have to keep the faith that we both love each other and although we're not together...his thoughts are with me.
I just checked my work voicemail (it's how we communicate at nights and weekends...if possible) and he left me a message last night. Yeah! He was on his way out to have a drink with the boys and he called to say hello. You guys should see this cheesy smile I have on my face right now:-). I just left him a voicemail (my husband is out running errands) and just babbled on how much I miss him and to thank him for the message.
THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT! Let's all hang in there and know that they are thinking of us too!