Back AGAIN

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
Back AGAIN
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 7:30pm
Not sure who will remember me, I haven't been around awhile. But, I'm back b/c I returned to my MM....and I HATE myself for it. We stayed apart for about 3 months, although since we work together we never had 'NC'. Now I think I'm back d/t desparation...how pathetic...I don't want to just be a booty call nor do I want him to leave his wife. What is my problem??? I just want to be loved! Yes, I know he cannot love me and a relationship would never work with him even if he did leave his wife. I see ALL of the red flags...they don't seem to matter, except that I'm a fool. I know he isn't worth any of my energy and I deserve so much better. I am SO STUCK! Will I ever get it right??!! I feel like I NEVER will. It's not like I want to sleep with anybody, I actually don't just my MM! But that is b/c he isn't long term material. I know I'm using him cuz there isn't anybody else. But, it's hard to want anybody else. I feel like I'm cheating on my MM when I'm with other men...how wrong is that!? I feel so unloveable and unworthy.

No longer lostinpace but stuckinmudd