Back Again.....does it ever stop or end?
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Back Again.....does it ever stop or end?
| Wed, 03-24-2010 - 3:45pm |
So I’m back again, I’m so ashamed and can’t believe I am here again because I told myself it was over and even at one point believed it but apparently not because here I am.

Not a fool, just confused, it sounds like.
In answer to your question....it stops and ends when YOU stop and end it. It's really as simple as that. That doesn't mean it's easy. I, personally, believe that affairs are the same as any other addiction. Secret in nature, give you a rush, self-destructive, hard to get out of. So, like any addiction, you have to go through a process until you get to the point where you can no longer ignore the truth in front of your face. Then, and only then, will you take the steps necessary to recover. Until then, you live in a state of constant denial, telling yourself that it's ok, that's there's nothing wrong with it, that it makes you feel good, etc., etc., etc. Everybody's bottom is different. Maybe yours is over, and you won't go back, or maybe you'll see him again until you leave and suffer your bottom after that. I don't know. I only know that the bottom is inevitable, so it's up to you whether you want to do the work now to recover from this affair, or later.
It will end when you make it end. My A just ended after 1-1/2 years of working together, teasing flirting glances etc. No matter how many times we said it had to end it never did because we were together everyday at work so the chemistry was still there and couldn't be ignored.
I don't think you are a fool but believe it or not you leaving the work place where you see AP is a blessing in disguise. I'm not saying that will make everything ok because even if you dont see him again you still have to heal what's inside of you. It is a step in letting him go though.
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
<
You're not a fool.
As for the "one more time" thing...
Proud to be a
You've
Edited 3/31/2010 11:18 am ET by cove70