BACK TO EXPLAIN THE ANGER!!!!!!!
Find a Conversation
BACK TO EXPLAIN THE ANGER!!!!!!!
| Mon, 10-06-2003 - 5:57pm |
I posted about being so angry. First let me say MM & I have been together 4 years. For the first 3 years she was not around...So self centered she did only for herself. There was no relationship between the, roommates at the most. So for many years we discussed everything, I know an awful lot about her, them and where they are in their relationship. We discussed everything openly. I wanted it that way and it didn;t hurt. I actually spent more time with him then she did. But now things are different. I have had it with everything i hear about her, cause she doesn;t deserve such a great man. I in reality yes am jealous of what she has, BUT, thats cause I know everything...Now turn the table and i guarantee she would be the jealous one to know all we share. Time does change things, sometimes easier sometimes harder. The longer it goes for me the harder it gets the deeper it hurts. Just my situation. And like i said, he keeps hoppin the fence so the grass must be greener on my side!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Forever27
Forever27

thanks so much for your response. I feel all you do. I actually argue with myself. Question my own questions and even try to answer myself(Geeh i really sound pathetic). There has never been a more heart wrenching feeling in my life, the flip side, i have never ever had a greater feeling in my life. I love my MM with all of me. I believe you have to have trust, you must know the kind of man he is. Does he have a habit of lying? My MM has always, always been honest with me actually sometimes maybe too honest, he won;t lie to me to spare my feelings, but he does try to avoid things that he knows will upset me. I don;t deal with him going home. Somedays I wish I would die, or feel like i am going to die, and other days I just look forward to the next time, or appreciate the time we just shared. My MM goes through a lot for us to be together. I have to constantly talk to myself to get these devestating, heartbreaking thoughts, ideas and pictures out of my head. Ask yourself this, if you had something, would you want to get it? If our MM's had what they wanted they wouldn't need to come to us. I am not talking just about sex.
I don't lie to myself, I know there is a 50/50 chance. Yes I would be devestated if he was to leave me, but I know he can't. We have tried several times. There is no ending this. We both want it. He just can't come to terms with the failure of his marriage. I had a very hard time admitting the failure of mine years ago. Back to you question. I have asked my MM do you say that to her or do you feel this with her. Those are things I don't think we should ask. Everyone is different, feels something different. I know from knowing his marriage, and from him telling me, what he shares with me is nothing he has ever experienced before. (he;s 49). You can only do what you can handle. So far my heart must be stonger than my mind. *even though my mind seems to be destroying my heart. My therapist said you will know when you can;t handle it anymore. You just will know. When the bad overwhelms the good, it's time. I do believe I am the reason why we argue, (yes, there are some real good ones). My mind runs aways with itself. Try to find some reasurring things that you hold special in your heart to remind yourself during your lows. Remember, If you had milk at home would you go all the way to the store to buy more? If your MM is a good man, *I believe there are two types of MM who cheat, ones who just do it, don;t care and there are many and the other type, they truly fall in love with another woman and just can't give it up. It is the most hurtful, awful situation to be in for everyone. Hang in there. Keep thinking of all you share. Hope to hear from you again.
forever
I was upset because he didn't call me on friday, like he said he would, so which made 3 days w/o talking to him. So he sends a email as if nothing so I blew. Nicely, but I got a bit upset. When he's at work, he emails and calls, but as soon as he leaves the office there is no way to get a hold of him till the next work day. So he thinks all he has to do is throw a few "sweet nothings" and it'll make everything right. So all we did was disagreed through email today which ruined my day and then at 5pm when he left for "home" just made me feel worse cause he leaves US like that.
I get jealous that she spends more time with her, when she too, treats him like poop. And yes,like you,I feel like a sucker.
I'm just venting!