Back to Work Tomorrow!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Back to Work Tomorrow!
8
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 10:13pm
Back from a long family vacation and tomorrow it is back to work and back to AP. We have exchanged emails a few times while I was away and he was very responsive. Emails were very innocent and slightly flirty on my end, but always a proper response from him. In person it is different, he is much more of a flirt. Just a little background, on the day before I left we had lunch and afterwards I told him I was attracted to him and he told me he felt the same way. I am nervous about how it will be to see him tomorrow-will he have decided it is better not to move forward since he has not seen me for almost 3 weeks? Will he still feel the same? Have missed me? I am sure I won't sleep much this evening! I thought about him a lot while I was away, but also enjoyed my vacation. I am hoping he'll suggest a lunch and we'll get to chat some more about where this EA is going...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 2:09am
I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering when you were back to work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 11:14am
I wanted so badly to send him an email this am letting him know I was back so we could catch up a little, but I didn't. I wanted him to initiate. I feel like I have been doing too much of that.He just sent me one asking when he could stop by to say hi. I waited a while and replied and we will get together later today to chat (at work) so no funny business :)! I am hoping he will ask me for lunch...I'll update tonight.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 4:16pm
Hoping your day is going well!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 4:36pm
He ended up coming to see me in my office before the end of the day about something work related which then turned into an hour of catching up on things. He got a call while he was talking to me and he told the person he was in a meeting and couldn't talk- I thought that was funny-we weren't really in a "meeting" just catching up and he wanted to talk to me, not the other person. Finally he had to go and I told him to let me know when he was free before he left, I wanted to stop by to give him something I had brought him back from my trip-very little thing. He told me he'd call me. He didn't call but ended up coming by to see me again as he was leaving and I gave him his gift. He told me he'd have more time on Wed. So that is where it's at. I hope he'll ask for a lunch, but I take all of the attention he gave me today as a positive sign. Not sure where this is heading, not sure if I should ask or just go with the flow (very hard because I want to know if he wants to be more than friends or not). He knows how I feel, but I don't want to push him and then have him say just friends because he was still chewing on things. Thoughts?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 2:40am

It does sound very promising!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 9:58am
You are just too funny! LOL! The gift was a gift. He is pretty stressed out at times with work and things at home so I got him a ball that you squeeze when you are stressed or I guess he could throw it at someone if he wanted to! It really was a little thing because my DH was around when I was picking up gifts for friends, office mates, etc. and I told him I wanted it for myself.
I think you're right on about the labeling thing and I will just go with the flow. I'll let you know when we next get together for some alone time...I don't think I could make the first move. I want him to so it validates what he says he is feeling. I don't want to be the one to have coerced him into anything he didn't want. At least that is how I feel right at this moment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 10:21am

Hey Jersey! Welcome back.

I am going to go along with what Jane said mostly. It sounds like he's one of those guys who is a bit nervous about taking that next step and maybe struggling with some guilt. But he is definitely showing signs that he is interested in you and feels the same way as you do. You're right in not wanting to push to much, because that is what will send him running.

With my AP, for about a month, he was feeling very guilty about our A and really pulled back (hot and cold behaviour). But at the same time, despite his guilt, he would ALWAYS 'come back' to me so I realized the best thing I could do is relax, go with the flow, and just try to be my normal cool, funny and sexy self (LOL) to make him want me. And it totally worked!

So I would just keep pushing forward but don't talk about feelings or relationships or the A because that can scare them off and make things too serious

I think with these guys, the trick is to make your A exist in a 'special' world of its own, separate from his RL. Almost like a 'safe zone' where you two can be together. And part of that zone is about not pushing too hard, going with the flow, and accepting hot and cold behaviour driven by guilt (because you either gotta accept that and enjoy the good moments, and if you can't deal with the cold behaviour from the guilt, then the A won't be enjoyable).

But I definitely think he feels the same way, he's just having a hard time with his other emotions (which may be guilt or fear of getting caught or whatever),

Be patient but push gently. Be hot and irresistable. Let him see you talking to other guys. But DON'T scare him off with deep relationship talk and confessing feelings.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 11:19am

Thanks Lucy. I agree with you 100%. I have no intention on leaving my DH at this point because my children are young, therefore no interest in anything more than an A with MM. He claims to be content in his M to so I know he isn't looking for anything more than a possible A. At least there we are on the same page. He has stopped by to see me/emailed me already today and we'll get together later today to talk. It seems since I have been back he has been very receptive to me and we just could spend time talking about whatever. It's funny though,sometimes we get to this place where there is an awkward silence, like we realize we are just making small talk, but would rather be doing something else, but neither one of us moves it forward. I have to be patient and just see where it goes. It would be nice to go to lunch where there are no distractions and we could let our hair down a little and be more flirty, fun. We have to behave at work, if you know what I mean. I'm just eager to move this into a PA..., but will enjoy the anticipation for now.