Backing up but eventually moving ahead
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Backing up but eventually moving ahead
| Mon, 05-17-2010 - 10:59am |
When my ap and I first discussed how we felt, back when it was just texting and nothing physical, he said there was no way we could act on our feelings. He said he had wanted to kiss me for a long time but knew better. He said there was no way we could be so selfish and hurt those that we love. Fast forward to now. We are now in a full blown affair. In the last few months we have tried setting boundaries but it never last more than a few days, if that. He'll say what he wants the limits to be because that's all he can handle, then next thing you know we have passed those limits. It's not like he looks back and regrets things, he's just scared of getting too attached. We've talked about a future together and I'm sure that's what he wants, but he's not sure if he wants to leave his wife and start over just yet. He doesn't want to meet up too much because he's scared of getting too attached, which in his words is already happening. We talk about everything so I know where we stand. It's just frustrating that at every step it's like he needs to time to process it in his mind before he's comfortable. He says the emotions get to him.

Hi Lost,
I think it's a bit too late. He's already attached and is trying very hard to try and detach. He's fallen and I know the feeling so well.
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
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I don't think he realizes that all this "anything goes during that week but after that we're going to have to slow down again so we can get back to normal" is like one big yoyo back and forth. We don't have on and off switches (wish I did) because if we did then it would be easy to do but we don't and he's fooling himself if he thinks this tactic will ease his mind.
When feelings are involved it's a whole different ball game. Some people have the gift of separating the two but I sure as heck don't.
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
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This is very similar to what was going on with my AP.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
Lots of guys have that push and pull in an A.
One thing though - the chances of ending up together are really small (at least, that's what everyone says). They're not impossible, but from the stories here from people who did end up together, there didn't seem to be the "push and pull" from the guys in their Rs. It was kinda like they both knew very early that they had to be together and went about the steps necessary to do so.
Guard your heart if you can sweetie. It sucks to have one broken.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've