Bah Humbug Rant

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Bah Humbug Rant
89
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 1:52am




Dear AP's Wife -


Please keep your husband reined in and fix whatever his problem is. If you knew about me, you would be devestated. I do know about you, although I would prefer not to know as much as I do. Something is apparently wrong with your marriage that you are completely oblivious to and your husband has chosen to make my life an emotional hell. The irony being, I would like to be with him and I know about you, and it is unjust to both of us. He is too afraid of hurting you or leaving you, but it is apparenlty OK for him

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 10:16pm



No, I believe what he tells me....had a shrink once tell me that you cannot discount
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2005
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 5:22pm

Hi Survivor, you are right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2004
Sat, 12-20-2008 - 12:28pm
I'm a lurker but I feel for you and
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Sat, 12-20-2008 - 3:57pm




Thanks, Jazz_tune,


Not much to tell other than long time love interest, many years through work,


PA many years ago, many years of NC, then back together on a very strong EA level,


talked a lot about

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2008
Sun, 12-21-2008 - 1:10am

Clarity,


I think his marriage is just fine, according to him......

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Sun, 12-21-2008 - 1:38am




Yes, he is manipulator and must control everything. I prefer not to be. It's the games people


play that teach mistrust. Yes, there are liars everywhere. His game is that he can do


whatever he wants as long as he has the rules. I don't play by his rules, I play by mine.


He is a sexual predator and gets his rocks off by manipulating women. He is married to


someone who is too mild mannered to confront him. He is OCD. Not that any of this


matters as it is not my issue to contend with, it is his W's. Do I trust what he says.


I trust that he believes he has the right to force his will on the world and everyone in


it. He'll tell you. I believe him. Is that what he feels? Yes. There is no way I will argue


with that. He has his own demons to battle, I won't do it for him.


My essence or not, his wife has to live with the man and his demons, not me. He can


keep it all to himself and his W. I have no interest. He bores me terribly with his issues.




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2008
Sun, 12-21-2008 - 5:15am

Yes, this board is here for support, and it does an excellent job of doing that.

Having said that, you must understand that support is not patting someone on the back and telling them they are right when they're wrong. This board can be supportive, and a life line for some of us. I relish having a place to go to that will tell me the truth, not just want I want to hear. Knowing that these ladies will ream me when I'm wrong is comforting, because when they do tell me positive things I know it's true, and not just them saying what sounds like the right answer.

I can't speak for anyone else but me, but I am grateful for this board. It has been my saving grace a few times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Sun, 12-21-2008 - 8:13am

You want to know why no one prior to the recent poster

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2004
Sun, 12-21-2008 - 12:55pm

The original poster started this thread

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2004
Sun, 12-21-2008 - 1:20pm
Thank you for filling us in more.

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