Bah Humbug Rant
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Bah Humbug Rant
| Tue, 12-16-2008 - 1:52am |
Dear AP's Wife -
Please keep your husband reined in and fix whatever his problem is. If you knew about me, you would be devestated. I do know about you, although I would prefer not to know as much as I do. Something is apparently wrong with your marriage that you are completely oblivious to and your husband has chosen to make my life an emotional hell. The irony being, I would like to be with him and I know about you, and it is unjust to both of us. He is too afraid of hurting you or leaving you, but it is apparenlty OK for him

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Look, when a person post on a public message board, you open yourself up for people's interpretation on what you posted. You (general you) take the good that would be of help to you and leave the rest.
I'm so sick and tired of people like you telling people on public message boards like this one how we should response to someone. How do you know that those people who've responded whom you think are being mean are really NOT trying to be mean??? We are all different! Your style may not be what I like and my style may not be to your taste. But, it doesn't mean my intension is not honorable in truly trying to help someone see the error in their ways. This country is full of different people and different "views", FYI!!! Besides, if someone's response stings you more than the others? It may be because it's closer to the truth, then you'll be better off paying close attention to those.
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."
- Ramona L. Anderson
Let me repeat.
Thank you Jazz Tune,
Agreed, the purpose of this aboard is for support in good times and bad. I rarely post these days,
I was much more active on the board a couple of years ago. I am taking ownership of the situation
now. A's tend to be emotional vacuums, they drain you dry and I tend to be a very emotional
person to begin with. I am sure in any long term A, someone always feels that they are getting
the short end of the stick, and they are. I am worth more to me than allow the vacuum to continue.
There are so many reasons people have A's, but particularly for those of us S folks, it is a dead end street.
I cannot coninue to be emotionally supportive in my situation when it is a give, give and give.
I any R, there is give and take and when all is one sided, there is no point continuing on.
I tell my children the same thing about their friends. When the manipulation starts and there is
no mutual respect for the other person, there are better friends out there for sure. ;)
>>>"Why assume that an in-your-face aggressive style is going to make anyone feel better?"<<<
That's your point of view. Why assume it's not what someONE needs or want also???
Kindness to me may NOT be to you. That's why in boards like this you take what you can and leave the rest. Good for you that your kind of kindness is what you think is right. But kindness have different faces too. It's like when they say it's "kinder" to shoot a horse when it's gone lame rather than see it suffer. Well, I know nobody suggested that the OP be shot here but what I saw (base on my interpretation) was people pointing out what the OP might not be seeing in how she posted. We enter into A's in our own accord. Nobody pointed a gun to anyone's head. She has no right to tell her AP's W to fix whatever that's wrong in their M so that he won't go to her for his ego stroke. All she needs to do is to get herself out of the equation. Which I think she did and I applaud her for that.
>>>"It has everything to do with the fact that no one needs nasty replies. "<<<
Again. That's base on your interpretation.... what's nasty to you may not be nasty to others.
So, get off your high horse cause sometimes kindness kills also by enabling and coddling. A's are painful and so that's why we can't use being in "pain" to bash our AP's SPOUSE HERE.
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."
- Ramona L. Anderson
Okay.
>>>"Yet you then say she's bashing her AP's spouse? Aren't we all in affairs which are by their very nature, bashing spouses? Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?"<<<
That's why I say "we" and "ours" (to include myself) and "not here" on this here board. You have a nice holidays too...
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."
- Ramona L. Anderson
You know Glo what I find so strange is when strangers ride in on their white horse to defend someone who they feel is being unsupported but where are they day in and day out on
Thanks, appreicate it. You are right it is not a debate board, but seems a few folks want
it to be. I'm enjoying this actually...
I apologized to the original poster for putting her in the middle with all this.
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