The battle going on in my head....
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The battle going on in my head....
| Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:19pm |
Do I leave H? Do I stay? Do I love him? Do I stay for my son? Would I be in love with another man if I loved my H? I actually dislike my H alot. But lately I've been fantasizing that he can be everything to me that MM is. PLEASE HELP!!!!! I'm supposed to put an offer in on a condo TONIGHT! I'm scared. Does it still hurt to leave when you are the one leaving? I've been SO miserable for SO many years. Now I'm getting cold feet. I wanted a divorce before I met MM but now I'm trying to make myself believe that I would be happy with H. It's because I love my little guy SO much that I feel guilty. Any opinions? Thanks
I'm not basing this decision on mm. We have a good relationship but we don't know about the future. Is being afraid to be alone a reason for staying with a man I don't love? I could kick myself because before we married I knew I was making a mistake. But know that we have our son how could it be a mistake?
I'm not basing this decision on mm. We have a good relationship but we don't know about the future. Is being afraid to be alone a reason for staying with a man I don't love? I could kick myself because before we married I knew I was making a mistake. But know that we have our son how could it be a mistake?

hiya secret,
I hope for your own sanity's sake you come a decision on that soon. I have seen you post all over the boards on this subject and I feel for you. You must be really sick with all kinds of stuff going on in your head. Only you can deicide for yourself. BTW, is your MM also getting out of his M??
Yes leaving a beautiful house for the MM is definitely a sacrifice. I can't imagine myself doing it to please a man. Its hard - all that work you took into decorating the house?
I am not sure what insight I can add, being that I am single and have never been married. I was in a LTR for almost 5 years, we never did live together but after 5 years I realized on my own that he did not love me the way I needed to be loved and that I had stayed in that relationship for the 2 previous years and even really got into it b/c I did not want to be alone. After 2 years of counseling every other week I finally learned that it is better to be alone ( although hard as living hell ) for the right reasons than to be with the wrong person ( that is a different living hell ). I learned by being alone how to be me again and learned what I liked and what I wanted. And you will never truly be alone, you have a wonderful son and your friends will be there for you too.
do what's in your heart. yes, it's a huge step, but believe me, if you were seriously contemplating separating from your husband even before MM came into your life, you are not making a mistake. the first step is always the hardest!!
good luck honey,
gurl
Edited 2/18/2004 10:24:57 AM ET by gurlfriend50