Been having an affair for over a year--
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| Fri, 09-19-2003 - 4:56pm |
I have been seeing someone now for over a year, he is single, 50, and never been married, I am 45, have five kids, three still lving at home, and my husband has never really satified me in ways that I needed. I started looking around for something/someone else almost three years ago before I met him. The sex is wonderful and to the surprise of both of us, we fell in love after about 3 three months. Not sure if I have a question just really needed a place to vent my emotions. for the most part I am ok, doing ok, the only thing that I feel bad about is that my husband is a very strong trusting Christian man, and would never even think that I am cheating. I cover very well, I tell him that I am with friends, and he never checks up on me.
I guess that I am just worried that the dam will burst at some point, and I am unwilling to give up my lover, he is someone that completes me in every way, yet, I don't want to give up what I have at home, my children are still young 10,12 and 16, and the finicial side of things are good, I don't have to work.
So I guess, I am wondering how to continue to go about this without continuing to not get caught.?

We have a couple of things in common... one of course an affair... the other being married with children... except I only have the two and mine a very young with the oldest just over 4 and my baby at 1.
I guess somewhere along the line I realised that I too was missing out on so much... although I didn't go looking for anything... but when it was there... I didn't stop it either... and in many ways, I'm thankful that I didn't.
While life may not be perfect... I'm content and that makes life good. My affair just seems to complete me in so many ways and that makes me happy and when I'm happy, those around me are too.
I've almost walked away from my marriage... but over the last few years... I've realised that I'm not ready to do so... and therefore still do what I can to make it good. I've learned that to put as much effort into my marriage as well as my EMA... and it seems to work for me.
As for being caught... I have been caught early on... but I think in many ways, I wanted to and I was careless with a lot of things. Since then... as I said... I put as much into my marriage as my EMA... and I don't think that I give DH anything to be suspicious of. I too am not yet ready to walk away from MM... and wonder will I ever be... not to mention that I don't want to hurt DH that way again. so I do my very best to not be caught out. I don't think there is any real way to ensure that it can't happen... there is always that risk... and you must be prepared to accept the consequenses should it happen... and if you aren't... then my advice would be to walk away now. It really is all about being careful... and ensure that life at home remains good. I can't give you any more than that.
Again... welcome aboard
luv and hugs
Sweet
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
You're not going to believe me, but this is the A #1 way to avoid being "caught."
Never, EVER tell anyone what you're doing. Sure as God made little green apples, if you happily confide--in a moment of bliss--to your best friend, your little "secret" will be over. NEVER/EVER tell anyone. Got it?
Secondary rules: No long glances in public, no "disappearing" acts during parties, no phone calls at times when you never used to get them, no bringing up his name.
Be yourself, find moments to share, and you'll be okay. Don't get weird and don't start acting too differntly. Contain yourself now, and you'll find more time in the future--when you'll REALLY want it.
Be patient now for later.
Good luck,
--LG