Been a Long Time!
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|Wed, 05-29-2013 - 11:55pm|
Life just seemed to get in the way for me this last year or so. Wow, so many new faces, not so many of the "oldies" (where did you all go??).
For any old members (and a quick history for new folks), XAP and I had been together for almost two years, the last year being pretty difficult. I ended things when he got transferred back here with his job (he had a home here during our A, but was in another state most of the time for work) and it was apparent things were going to drastically change (like he became Mr. Mom and no longer had much time to even talk, let alone get together). We tried to reconcile (his doing) a few months around my birthday, and, well, let's just say it ended badly a couple of months later. At the suggestion of a couple of friends, I got on AM for the very first time for a couple of reasons: 1) I discovered during my A that (at least when it was good), it made my marriage more tolerable, and 2) I was desperate to get over XAP, and though another AP would help. I have to tell you, that site is something else! I was contacted by so many guys, many of whom were apparently illiterate, as they completely disregarded my profile. I met several guys, but not really much worth writing home about: a lot of guys looking for a quick hook up, some with no chemistry between us, some our schedules just didn't mix. Last July I met a guy I really hit it off with: we met for coffee six times in the first two weeks. We began texting daily, and developed a really good friendship. It didn't hurt that our chemistry was off the charts ;). After a couple of months, though, he developed feelings for me and began to panic, so we cooled things off, and back to AM I went. In December this guy took me out for my birthday, and we rekindled things, but with one problem: he had begun seeing someone else, and had issues committing to just me. So back and forth we went for a few months: me enjoying our renewed friendship and daily chats, yet unable to handle the "other woman". I eventually gave him an ultimatum, and told him we could be friends, but nothing more so long as there was someone else. He agreed to give up the other woman and try to get over his fears so he could have a solid relationship with me. About this time, XAP popped back into the picture, again wanting to give things another try. I agreed because I truly felt like I wasn't over him. It took all of a couple of days to discover I couldn't give up the new guy for XAP, so tried to maintain something with both (new guy knew about XAP). It took me far less time then in the past to grow weary of XAP and the same issues we'd always had, so I truly ended it...for good. And you know what? I realized that for the first time in years, I really WAS over XAP.
So I am now enjoying a healthy (can you say that about an A??), loving relationship (can you imagine an AP who can admit loving you? lol). We are completely open and honest with each other, we respect each other, we're each other's best friend, and we truly enjoy each other's company. I will always love XAP: heck, we have a 20+ year history together! But that love has been tempered now that I no longer see it through some romanticized view, and with current AP, the differences between this A and the first one are incredible!
Hope everyone is doing well, and look forward to cathing up with old friends :)