betrayal

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
betrayal
6
Sun, 11-23-2008 - 5:01pm

hello, i wont make this long. but in a nutshell, my fiance and i have been together for 5 years, will be getting married in may. our relationship is wonderful. i love

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
In reply to: muffin626
Mon, 11-24-2008 - 4:53pm
I think you answered your own question when you said there was no "passion" in your relationship with your fiancee. You got drunk and made out with someone, probably quite passionately, I might add. Is it a betrayal? Well, yes, I guess technically so. But I wouldn't tear yourself up over it. HOWEVER...you need to understand that if there is no passion now, imagine what your relationship with your fiancee will be like "x" amount of years down the road. I would really do some heavy and HONEST soul-searching as to whether or not you TRULY want to be married to this man. Because by no means is it too late to back out, and, quite honestly, if he doesn't bang your shutters, then maybe you shouldn't marry him. People think marriage will make any flaws or problems in the relationship get better, but that is faulty thinking. It doesn't make them better...it actually makes them worse. Ask any of the ladies on this board. Or others, for that matter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In reply to: muffin626
Mon, 11-24-2008 - 6:41pm

i know what you are saying. passion is not always there, but the love is there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
In reply to: muffin626
Mon, 11-24-2008 - 6:55pm

I think the guilt fades with time.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2008
In reply to: muffin626
Tue, 11-25-2008 - 1:58am
Bang your shutters? I have never heard that one! ROTFLMAO! Thanks Silly I needed that!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2008
In reply to: muffin626
Tue, 11-25-2008 - 9:37am

Muffin,

I got married to my H because he was amazing guy. I never felt much passion for him, he never made me feel very desirable, beautiful and sexy either - all the things that women want. It seems to be not that important at the time - I wanted to start a family with a reliable and caring partner, everything else I thought, will fall into place.

Well, it did not. It got worse. Now, two affairs later (and I do not speak of FWB arrangements or short flings, there were serious full blown affairs with all the feelings involved) I realize that I should have never married to my H. What was missing, will always be missing, and passion is a big thing to miss.

Good luck to you. Let the guilt go. And think hard how would you feel 5 or 10 years down the road, when another hot guy will hit on you.

(((Hugs)))

Vivacious

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In reply to: muffin626
Tue, 11-25-2008 - 10:11am

thank you all so much for your input. i will hopefully let go of the guilt. I only fear that he never