Aww another.Your AP is crazy about you and I guess you worry a bit more than is necessary.
Your AP putting his son before you does say something about him and I'm sure you know that.
If you want more than he can give, you do need to find another man which is easier said than done,probably.But you might be reaching a breaking point to decide.
another...((HUGS)). Self-awareness is a wonderful thing and you fully recognize AP can't (not b/c he won't, he has other obligations that come first) give you what you need. It's GOT to be hard to keep expectations in check in this situation, and you've got the whole thing w/ your M going on...
Sorry you're going through this again anothereyes. It does seem like you're not getting what you need from your AP, although he's giving you all that he can. Don't know what the answer is, or even if there is an answer...
Proud to be a
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Like you I am back and forth on my A. I really think I may be happier and less of a mental case if I end it - but I cant.
But I wrote him a long farewell email the other night. Explaininng everything- but I didnt send it. I have felt so much better since doing this. Maybe its because my side (once spelled out) didnt sound unfair or unreasonable to me. So maybe I feel less crazy about worrying that its me and not him thats causing all this.
Im sorry to hear your in a down time...it seems as if most of us are down more than up. I'm totally with you though...I'm constantly wondering why I don't just end it. My AP also seems to continually pull away. At times it does seem as if he emails me not because he truly wants to but so I won't get upset as if he is "obligated". It seems as if he does things just so I don't get upset (which makes him a wonderful man), but at the same time is it what he really wants. I think he doesn't want to hurt me, but he knows I want more than he can give and he does feel bad about that. Honestly, why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want me as much too!? He has even asked me why I put up with him knowing I'm not getting what I want. I think he is considering actually ending our A due to his guilt for his wife as well as not pleasing me...I'm always wondering when the shoe is going to fall. We just recently have had a discussion about expectations, emotions, and where our relationship is at (even the possibility of ending it)...and I'm very scared what's going to happen at our next meeting :(. Anotherseyes, I'm so sorry that your trip has not gone through as planned..and I can imagine how hard the situation can be with his son. I'm so glad for this site..we'll all get through it together. ...I need to post my story on roll call because I am a newbie..
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Aww another.Your AP is crazy about you and I guess you worry a bit more than is necessary.
Your AP putting his son before you does say something about him and I'm sure you know that.
If you want more than he can give, you do need to find another man which is easier said than done,probably.But you might be reaching a breaking point to decide.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
"Just out of curiosity, what DO you want?
anotherseyes
Hi anotherseyes... I just wanted to give you a big cyber <<>>
I don't understand why everyone thinks he loves me?
anotherseyes
Hi Anotherseyes
Like you I am back and forth on my A. I really think I may be happier and less of a mental case if I end it - but I cant.
But I wrote him a long farewell email the other night. Explaininng everything- but I didnt send it. I have felt so much better since doing this. Maybe its because my side (once spelled out) didnt sound unfair or unreasonable to me. So maybe I feel less crazy about worrying that its me and not him thats causing all this.
Thanks igs, and big hugs back to you!
A farewell email might make me feel better, though knowing me, it would be way too tempting to actually send it ;).
anotherseyes
Anotherseyes, I'm so sorry that your trip has not gone through as planned..and I can imagine how hard the situation can be with his son. I'm so glad for this site..we'll all get through it together.
...I need to post my story on roll call because I am a newbie..
Pages