Birthday surprise
Find a Conversation
Birthday surprise
| Fri, 09-19-2003 - 3:22pm |
MM had to sneak my birthday gift to me. It was a little figurine with a tiny card that says "For those who love and are loved." Nice little message, since we've been avoiding saying the "L" word for so long, but just insinuating it. It was weird...I guess I wasn't sure what he'd do about my birthday. His bday came less than two months into this and I bought him a little business card holder for his desk. I should have figured he'd do something, but you never know with men. I'm truly touched that he went through the trouble of sneaking out to buy something, then sneaking around to get it wrapped and to me. Oh...and he gave me a humorous card, but didn't sign his name to it. I don't know what I'll do if someone picks the card up and ask who it's from. Or if they ask where I got my figurine. What do you all tell people who ask? The sweetest thing was that he called me this morning, first thing, and sang "Happy Birthday" to me. Made my day. I told him as the day was starting not to make me sad today. (He knows that means to do his best not to get called away where I can't see him all day!) I've been TERRIFIED that's how today is going to go, and I don't want to be sad on my birthday, of all days. Of course, ironically, the best gift ANYONE could have given me for my birthday is a kiss from him, but I know that's not going to happen. We're not back there yet after the last time we kissed and he felt so guilty he pushed me away. Still, I can dream!

Until I knew my OM would do anything, ANYTHING for me - which took over a year - I basically always expected that work and family would come before me. And they still usually do (as they should - they do for me), but he makes a greater effort now, and I expect more now. There are things he omitted doing a year ago (such as finding a reason to talk to me every day he's on vacation) that some months later he was able to find ways to do. But his effort to find ways to see me and be with me grew along with the intensity of his feelings for me. That was reasonable to expect.
My OM will find any way he reasonably can to see me and talk to me. He calls me first thing in the morning so we can talk on our cell phones on the way to work, and he calls me on the way home as well. We set up private email accounts so we could email each other safely (our email is not monitored at work - I know this for a fact). These things happened within the first few months. We'd see each other outside of work a couple of times a week at first, but for over a year, it's been every possible opportunity - the only reason we don't see each other both before and after work is if there are prior commitments, such as meetings or family events, or if he's traveling.
Yes, in a good relationship, these things build. If your OM, in a moment of weakness, wants to go all the way, it sounds like you can count on him bouncing backwards just as fast - maybe even resenting *you* for "making" him do it. Please be careful.