Bittersweet feelings
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| Fri, 08-29-2008 - 4:06pm |
Hi all,
Well, AP/BF is back from his vacation and we got together that night. It was anticlimatic to say the least, we almost got into a fight for goodness sakes! We didn't because it was just too stupid and I told him that it just wasn't important and I needed to be with him very badly, and fighting was not an option. He left at 4 in the morning. On his way out the door he told me he would call me...and he didn't. I stayed calm, cool & collected and just sent a text saying hi...he sent me a text back saying hi. Well, I couldn't believe it! I sent him another text telling him he was cruel, to which he replied by phoning me....my plan all along. I asked him why he was so loving and attentive while he was away and the minute he gets home it's the cold shoulder? He couldn't, or wouldn't, answer me but we ended the conversation with his promise that he would call me tomorrow. This time he did, called me twice in fact (at work) and we made tentative plans to meet after work. I showed up at the pub and there he was, we had one beer..played some pool and then I got the "nod" to head out of there. We met up at my place and then he tells me he only has forty minutes! In a rhetorical kind of way I asked him why? It was a family obligation with his two boys...and I'm fine with that. I gathered my nerve (hey, you can't win if you don't play, right?) and asked him if he would stop by on his way out of town in the morning (yep, after only three days at home he's heading back out of town to the job he was on before he left on vacation!). He said he would, or he would come back later that night. I didn't hold out much hope for that so imagine my surprise when he called me and told me he was coming back! And not only that but he spent the night with me!
He spent a lot of time holding me and kissing me and staring into my eyes throughout all of it. We get each other on so many levels and he makes me feel so "normal"....I am never going to get over this guy I think. He takes my breath away and I don't mind telling him so (and contrary to what you might think, men do like compliments). So, we ended up having a wonderful time together and the things we did this morning will sustain us until the next time we see each other. The only problem? When he's finished this job he's immediately off to another, also somewhat across the country although the other way. I am praying that he asks me to go with him....I must find a way to let him know that I have five weeks of paid vacation!
I am bittersweet, happy that he gave himself to me last night and sad that he's gone again.
Thanks for listening,
benska
P.S. And the icing on the cake? I finally got up my nerve and left an eviction letter for my roommate and I feel like a HUGE weight is off my shoulders. I feel badly that I had to do that of course but, I cannot continue to live in such a stressful environment...I just can't. Yeah for me!

Hey lady - glad you got it all straightened out and ended the few days you had together on a positive note. Aren't those stupid fights the worst? You just get yourself to a point where anything seems to
Hi btdt2008,
Thanks for the reply. You are right of course and I'm being a dork. As far as AP/BF and I have come in this R together, I still get very shy of some things...and maybe even just downright scared. I just don't want to feel the rejection, KWIM?
I feel much more comfortable telling him things in text messages than I am to his face. Part of that is because I know he really likes getting those kind of messages and so it makes it easy for me to tell him how I feel. He has sent me half a dozen texts (at least!) since he left yesterday morning and I think he even told me in one of them that he loves me...it's kind of hard to tell with his
Hey Dork. :)
Imagine being crappy at texting and screwing up, and texting something you didnt mean? I'm sorry - I'm not making a joke about it, but think about it...wouldn't that be, like, really, really bad? I sent a text to a male friend the other day....I was typing I love your new car....and I almost hit send after only typing "I love you". That would have taken some explaining.
BTDT,
Ok that is funny!! I am no "virgin" to texting since I have a 21 and 18 yr old and basically that is how we stay connected. (unlimited texting!!! What did I ever do without it!)
Benska,
V U could be I love you, it could be c ya, it could be anything. But asking takes away the guessing. Even if it isn't what you want it to be, knowing is much better than not knowing!!
I got my friends to texting. Now they text me more than I text them!!!! But it is a way for my kids at least to tell me things quick since