Blast! I did it again

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Blast! I did it again
2
Mon, 08-31-2009 - 4:36pm

I have never hated myself more than I do right now...I am such an idiot! This has to be my wake up call to STOP drinking totally.


After the beautiful, wonderful, mini vacation I just had with AP/BF...I got drunk and yep, you guessed it...I sent him a really awful text. I still can't believe I did it.


I didn't mention anything about this part of our trip but...the night he went out on the town with his DS (until 2 in the morning, leaving me in our hotel room) I guess some young chickie was dirty dancing on him and trying to pick him up. When he got back, he was telling me about it (over and over, it seemed like) and he seemed very pleased with himself. I got jealous....very. My sister just pointed out that it's not likely that some young hottie is going to want to get with a 50 year old married man! The thing is, in my stupid head, because I think he is so amazing and wonderful...I think that all women must want him as much as I do.


Why do I keep doing this? Why? I know why....no more booze. It's going to be very hard but I have to do it.


benska

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Mon, 08-31-2009 - 5:30pm

Honey,


Please know this is NO judgement on you...I don't have it in me and I have no room to judge anyone. If you believe that's what the problem is and you want a boost, there is an Alcohol board to give you a hand.

 Click & Get Fit & Healthy with friends!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Mon, 08-31-2009 - 8:44pm

Thank you arroyosunshine,


I just don't know why I do these things...I wish I did. I've been trying to make another appointment at the Mental Health clinic here but for some reason, they aren't returning my calls to makie an appointment.


I will try and find that board you were talking about. I have to do something because I really do think I'll end up doing something really stupid.


Thanks again,


benska