Is this board enough?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Is this board enough?
18
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 10:06am
Hey - just throwing this question out there because I am wondering if anyone feels like me... I am going through an extremely difficult time in my A right now and although I've posted about it I feel like I have to pull teeth to get replies! :( And yet I know I'm guilty of coming around ONLY for support and advice and tend to skip other posts. I have NO one to talk to about all this and I feel like I'm going nuts! :p Just wondering if any of you feel like this board could be better!? More involved? More replies or something? I mean seems like I can come at 9am and post and then come back at 3pm and there are maybe 2 replies since I was here!? Is there maybe another A type board around that is more active?

Thanks! and Hugs to all!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 10:49am
replies have been spare on this board for awhile. i believe there are several reasons: the board was slammed by trolls a few weeks back and alot of the posters opted out for awhile. and it's august so lots of people are away on vacation or home with the kids gettig ready for school and either cannot post or do not have time to post. and i know for myself, i can only post during work hours. my BF would be looking over my shoulder at home and so i'm limited to 9-5 monday thru friday to reply/give advice.

i haven't seen much of our cl either. so i'm not sure what to tell you. i only post on this board. i don't have enough time to surf the net and find our chats. and i have told a couple of my closest friends about my A so i have their support when i need it. i know what other posters have said about never telling anyone but i KNOW my girls have my back even if they were being tortured!! just kidding.

hang in there poster. everyone will be around eventually.

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 11:43am
I totally agree with you. I have wondered the same thing. Just yesterday, I was looking at the outline view. There was over 100 views to a post, but only 2 or 3 replies. I've been a member and posting on this board since 1999, and to be honest I've seen a decline in posting on this board. When I first came to this board I was thrilled, to have found it, and was helped greatly, thus I felt compelled to share my experiences, and give advise.

Now, it seems that no one can relate to what I'm going through, thus, how could my advise help someone else. It's really hard when you don't have anyone to help you over those rough days. AND!!! it seems like all my days are rough, some are rougher than others. There are so many facets of an EMA, and we all are in different places in our EMA. There have been many times when I swore I would never post again. BUT!! because I had no one else to turn to, I felt that I had to post, only to have 1 or 2 replies, which made me feel worse than I did when I posted.

I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that, this board is not what it used to be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 11:49am
Couldn't agree with you more. If you want, send me an email - my address is in my profile. I'd really like to be able to "talk" to someone too.

M

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 12:12pm
I'll admit my posting went

downhill. But that's because

I haven't been on long enough

to post anything because of

other reasons.

I'm trying to get back into

the swing of things, and I'm

sure a lot of posters have

thrown themselves into lurkdome.

Sometimes I just have nothing to

add that could help anyone!

But posters will come back:) ~passion

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 12:25pm
Ladies there are several good sites on ivillage, pertaining to affairs. Redbook has one, and I believe Good Housekeeping has one also. But on MSN there are several. There is one called Extra Marital Affairs Advice. There are probably over a few hundred members, and thousands of posts. You don't have to be invited to join, but you do have to apply. I have never known anyone to be turned down. Here's the info on them

Group Name:

Extra Marital Affairs Advice

Internet Address:

http://groups.msn.com/ExtraMaritalAffairsAdvice

Description:

A community that explores the complexities of those directly or indirectly involved in extra-marital affairs. Talk, listen, ask, or give advice. It is a place created just for you.

The golden rule of this community: "Do NOT judge others."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think a lot of the reasons that this board is not what it used to be, is due in part to the reasons the other poster stated, and due in part to a lot of contraversy when some posts are not what we really want to hear. But there are other boards out there, you just have to search for some.

Hope this helps.

Scanner

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 12:50pm
IM,

Actually, there is another board called All Sides of an Affair on the Redbook site of iVillage. It is supposed to be a board where people of all sides of an affair express an opinion, but...I don't know if I, myself, would actually post there on a regular basis. The hurt that some of these people have experienced make it difficult for them to be objective and sometimes they can lash out, which is understandable. I occasionally will lurk there just to see how some people view these affairs. It does put things in perspective sometimes. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that there are other boards you can post on.

H&H

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 2:13pm
I'm sorry you're not finding the support you need. I think the two biggest problems are the trolls that were here earlier (I know I bailed from the board for a couple of weeks waiting for it all to die down) and the inherent nature of this board...Most of us have only a minute here and a minute there to spend on the board. I do read it from home, for instance, but since hubby is unemployed, he's around all the time. Just in writing this response to you, I've been interrupted no fewer than 3 times and I've had to go back in my history to a less incriminating site.

Hope things get better for you.

Lucky

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 2:50pm
Sorry you don't think you get the support from the board. I have received some great support/advice from people on this board but lately I haven't been posting much. The trolls that were here scared a lot of people into lurking but I see that there are people coming out more now. I agree with the other posters the time of year, the nature of these affairs, the trolls are all reasons for the low volumne of responses to everyone. I know that when the trolls started I started emailing with a few people and I mostly do that now and can say that I have made some great friendships from meeting people here. So hang in there and people will start to come back as fall rolls around.

DAF

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 3:21pm
secretluver, I'd like to ask you a quesiton if you don't mind. In realtion to your affair, you say all your days are rough, some rougher than others. Why continue this relationship if it causes you so much pain? Most people would think twice about staying in a marriage where all their days were rough, let-alone an EMA. What is it you are getting out of this relationship? What is the pay-off for you in all this pain?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 3:33pm
Hi imanewposter -

I think that I have to agree with the other posters that just the nature of what we are talking about makes it difficult to post as often or frequent as we would like. I know that at work it is hard for me (My Affair Support, kinda hard to explain that away!!) and at home...well, same idea :-) I think H might have a question or two for me if he saw this.

I also am new, and sometimes feel that I may not have the greatest advice to give so I refrain from replying. I'm trying to work out issues in my EMA and have to admit that I'm not doing such a great job of it :-( I lurk a little, post here and there but in general just read the excellent advice that has already been posted.

As for vacations, I will be modemless for the next 10 days camping (not sure I can survive, we shall see)!!

Good luck to you...I will keep an eye out for your posts and try to help out if I can. If not, I'll just throw some hugs and support your way :-)

K

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