Is this board enough?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Is this board enough?
18
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 10:06am
Hey - just throwing this question out there because I am wondering if anyone feels like me... I am going through an extremely difficult time in my A right now and although I've posted about it I feel like I have to pull teeth to get replies! :( And yet I know I'm guilty of coming around ONLY for support and advice and tend to skip other posts. I have NO one to talk to about all this and I feel like I'm going nuts! :p Just wondering if any of you feel like this board could be better!? More involved? More replies or something? I mean seems like I can come at 9am and post and then come back at 3pm and there are maybe 2 replies since I was here!? Is there maybe another A type board around that is more active?

Thanks! and Hugs to all!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 5:04pm
There are 2 main reasons that I stay. 1) I really don't want to be alone, and the time spent with MM is enjoyable. IMO, it's better than not having anyone at all. I enjoy our conversations. I've know him for years. He is helpful, he helps me out financially. Being a single mom, is not easy, having extra money is always a plus.

2) I really hope and pray that things will be different once he gets his D. We have talked about our relationship, I've stated my issues, and he has stated his. BUT!!! in order for us to work on them as a couple, he must be D.

I've been in the EMA ON & OFF for 15 years. It seems that so many of the issues that I post about you ladies haven't gotten there yet. If I went into all of the issues I have, you would be reading all day and part of tonight.

Once he is D, and we are "dating" as a normal couple, I will be able to tell if this is really what I want. Hope this answers your question. NO, I don't mind. If there is anything else you want to ask, feel free.

Secret

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 5:46pm
And what are trolls? What do they do? Pardon my ignorance - I'm new here too.

M

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 7:50pm
Hi Poster,

I'm sorry you feel you aren't getting the best from the board... although a little slow of late I think that there have been a few ladies to help bring the board back a little to the way it used to be.

There have been a lot of problems with trolls... which did cause a very big rift some time back and also the change to the IV boards in general... a lot of people found the change harder to deal with and just gave up.

As for myself... I am in and out every day... but I too have a life and while I dedicate a lot of time to this board... I think I deserve to be able to live my life too. I have two small children to look after and I do not get online much in the evenings as I do not want my DH suspicious... this caused many problems for me a couple of years back and I don't want to go there again... so I hope that you are all understanding. Another problem for me... if you don't know... I am in Australia... therefore about 14 hours ahead of most of you... which will put a lot of my posts mid to late evening... depending on when I find to time to hop on board.

I used to welcome each and every person... unfortunately... I loose a lot of time in my day when I do this and it's difficult... and also each and every one of us has different circumstances... I sometimes find some of your situations hard to relate to... so I tend to leave that to the people with better advice.

It's all up to us really... and what we make of the board... for me it's been a real lifesaver and has helped me move forward... and I'm sure for many others too.

I've no problem should anyone want to email me direct... sweetc_@hotmail.com (careful of the underscore) or you can always contact me through my profile. I won't always reply straight away due to my time difference... but I will always reply... and while I maybe won't be able to offer any advice... but I'll always lend an ear.

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 10:46am
Hi Poster,

I'm sorry that you aren't getting what you need from the board right now. I used to be a constant (lol) poster here on the board - and I received support in responding to others, being able to write out loud what I thought helped me keep a persepective! I'm in a different place mentally now, and don't seem to need *as much* support as I did, and too I am very busy now (changed jobs and can't post at work -boo hoo- and moving and etc.). I do still enjoy the board, since I don't talk about my A with anyone outside of cyberspace.

People come and go on the board - unfortunately I don't *know* many on here now since I post infrequently, and I miss the comraderie I found with the regulars who posted when I did. But, I do feel the board still serves a great service - for those that need to get it all out, and for those who need to just talk about their A, and for those that like to offer insight. In my time on the board (since last September I think), I've found the board goes through cycles, just like anything else...sometimes its busy, sometimes not.

Poster, if you find you aren't receiving enough replies, just "bump" your post up, or repost. Now, I'm off to find your post!

Have a good day,

Meow

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 12:30pm
minnimac -- regarding "trolls" -- these posters come on the board to cause a ruckus, argue, in general to be mean to us EMA/A posters. these posters are very combative, sarcastic, name-calling. usually someone who is pissed because their DH and/or SO had an affair and that person throws the blame around here on the support board.

if you come across someone like that, hit the "ignore" button and you will not even see their posts. if you don't ignore them, do not answer or post to their tirades, because replies keep the thread alive for them to keep up their aggressive tactics.

hope this helps,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 12:38pm
hey secret -- what issues do you have? a shorter synopsis or start with a few of the more important ones. we can't relate if we don't know.

i'd like to know more.

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 12:55pm
I've been lurking on this board for a few months. When I found the board my affair was up in DRAMA land and I needed support. I posted quite a bit and got numerous replies. But then we would break-up and get back together, and everyday was something new, so I stopped posting for a while. Now MM and I have worked through everything and things have settled so I'm kinda back. And it was very frustrating when that troll was on the board, it made it very hard to post and read other posts. I like this board though, it's nice that is it kinda small and everyone just hangs out. I hope you get the support you need!

:-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 10:23am
Sorry that you aren't finding the support that you need. I am also guilty of reading and sympathizing and not posting for various reasons. I know how it feels to post and have no or very few replies. I'll try to be more supportive. I usually only post on weekends because I don't want to use my work connection or computer for this as it can be monitored and my H wonders what I am typing on weeknites. I work a lot at home on the weekends so it is usual for me to be on the computer the. I think many of us are in situations where it is hard to post at various times. Sometimes posts get buried quickly, so just bump 'em up when you need support. Please know that our hearts are with you even if you don' t "hear" from us. This is still a great board. I find some of the other boards mentioned to be somewhat combative and filled with debate and judgment. JMO, but the posts on those boards sometimes make me feel worse instead of better.

Keep posting and don't give up on us!

Many hugs!

RH

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