I think like any longterm relationship things will start to fizzle which is why most people get into affairs for the newness and 12 years is longer then a whole lot of merriages or friendships even though it has been off an on.I think now it has come down to the you have to work at it stage to keep things fresh. I think 12 years is a good run full of great memories so why not just let it end and live with what you had..
no you are not I'm think I might be there with an on and off one for almost 7 years. Do you want to move on? In my case I think Im just tired for now but we are in the same city and its hard because if you don't say anyting they just think you are on a break and they can come back.