Bored? Disconnected? Fizzling Out?
Find a Conversation
|Mon, 01-27-2014 - 8:56pm|
So AP has been calling / texting more or less on schedule but it all seems so "surface" and actually a bit awkward. No depth or emotional expression. I don't want to have to try to coax it out of him. If he doesn't feel it or can't express it, then it is what it is. Part of the reason I'm with him is to get what I need (and because I care for him deeply, the other part is to meet his needs). Lord knows this is all not worth the risk if there's no gratification. I'm not saying I need crazy outpours daily but I need more than what he has given in the last couple of weeks.
This was not always so with him. It's been an on-and-off for 12 years. I'm finding myself frustrated and contemplating just letting it "fizzle out" with him. No drama. No anger. No big "good bye." I'm resisting scheduling our next meet-up (we live states away) for fear of having to keep things "smooth" and not upending things by asking for more. I don't want to seem needy or clingy. I don't want to give away my own emotional power by basically chasing after him for affection and his love. (By the way, my guess is that he thinks everything is "great.")
I guess this is not the worst way for an A to end but it still saddens me to let go of what we used to have.
Am I alone?