"Bot a ticket "...back on roller coaster

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
"Bot a ticket "...back on roller coaster
12
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 10:17am
MM emailed me first thing this morning. Told me he noticed me at the school play and was trying to get my attention.

So, here we go again... today's emails are the way they were 2 months ago.... I think I have figured this whole thing out. The light bulb has come on REAL bright.

Although, I am happy with him knowing I am sick, and he knows how I feel that he has not run away. That must be a good sign? Huh?

Happy and calm for now....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 10:31am
Vles - I am so glad you heard from him.
cl-noregretsyet (co-cl of MAS board)
&#16
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 10:33am
Hello honey, just make sure you guard your heart. Remember, this is a man who ignored you when you were ill and going thru treatments. I don't mean you can't enjoy your time with him, but you make sure you put yourself 1st and don't get hurt again. My MM was like that too, would ignore me for weeks, then get in touch again and act like nothing happened. It was pretty callous and I had to teach myself to not be so emotionally attached to him, because long story short, I'm not really that important to him, I am just dessert. Take care,

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 10:44am
Good post Dusty! I wanted to post the same to V. Just keep it light and fun. Don't let the emotions cloud things. These other realtionships than the main one are an extra for men, so be careful about putting out too much other in terms of expectations.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 10:59am
Hi Juliet, I know you've been thru the ringer lately too. I had 8 weeks this fall of NC from MM, after that time my feelings for him changed. I can enjoy our time together, but I'm not putting too much meaning into it. And its paid off for me, because now after 4 weeks, I haven't shed a single tear, I'm not too obsessed over not seeing him. I actually feel I can get on with my life if I never see/hear from him again.
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 11:07am
Dusty,

You know what, its the same for me!! No obsession and no too much meaning into any attempts by him to get back to where we were before. In fact I am ending it forever. I have put my life on hold four years to be taken as granted and pushed and shoved around way too much. Not anymore. I can tell this time is different. I don't put myself thru the wringer anymore either for this man. I get hurt there and here, nothing that I can't handle. :) Hopefully I will be out of it in a couple of months.

Juliet (no more)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 11:17am
I understand completely. I am just dessert as well and I know this. He is a big talker but his actions, albeit when we are together, most would call gentlemenly, I know what I am to him.

But my M sucks so bad that somehow knowing this "R" will never become an "A" suffices for now.

v.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 11:19am
You go girl !! I am also trying to tell myself, this is a man who can lead me on, talk about getting together more often, then puts me on NC for no reason and with no explanation. I am being treated like a door mat and just taking it!! Why do we allow ourselves to be treated this way? Meanwhile I have H at home who adores me and would do anything for me (well almost). I really have to set my priorities and try harder with him. As for MM, I can put him on the same priority he has me set at, which is low, but the longer this NC goes the less I care about seeing him. I guess that is a good thing.

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 11:24am
I also have problems with my M, #1 being lack of sex, H not interested. Its been the source of many arguments between us. And that is the thing I will really miss with MM, that's what it was mainly for anyways between us.

And with MM in the picture, I was not giving H the attention, and I was not even trying with him. Maybe I will be more motivated now that MM has disappeared. For you too, even though your M is not good, at least your H is the person who you CAN turn to when you are ill, those MM just seem to disappear when the going gets tough.

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 11:32am
GF, are we living parallel lives?? I have the same situation at home. My H is turning out to be quite the prince these days, really!! Even I can't believe it... LOL Hope it lasts long... Even if doesn't I can live with him for most part. I somehow have been thru the wringer with OM for the last year or so, I am loosing my taste to live life on the edge with OM on the rollercoaster. I want to feel safe and wanted, and H is doing that for me. He is being my rock these days. I guess I am really very lucky to have him in my life to fall back on. He definitely is not the man he was when I started off the A. No sireee... LOL Hopefully one day, I will be able to pay him back for being the help he is being right now, in my own way.

I agree about putting OM on low priority/back burner for now. I can see why you want to do that, it kinds feels good, doesn't it... LOL Anyway, I hope you get what you want - best of the both worlds. Meanwhile I am getting of this affair scene forever as I don't have the excuse of sexual needs satisfied by the OM like you do in your case. I guess we are a little different then, but not that much.

Good to see somebody in the same boat as me. Carry on GF!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 1:06pm

I read your post about being pushed and shoved and i feel the same way. After 4 years also.


He STILL WON'T talk to me on the phone, but yet,wants to im and email me. I told him I couldn't. I wouldn't do it that way. He said to please bare with him. He said "I" was the one who wasn't sure. What a laugh!!!


He's the one M and "I'm" not ready. Ha!


All these stupid games!!

 

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