Both Married and Having Affairs.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Both Married and Having Affairs.....
33
Fri, 10-03-2008 - 10:49pm

So, here's my story...........


I'm 32, married 7 years, 2 kids (3 and 1) and I have been having an affair with a married man (my H and I both work with him). He's 36, married 9 years, 1 kid (3yr) and baby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Fri, 10-03-2008 - 11:05pm

Whoa! Girl! You don't need advice -- you're having the time of your life! I applaud your courage and sense of adventure.

I will offer one suggestion, though, because your continued enjoyment depends on wringing as much as you can out of this, and that means you'll have to keep it going without letting it wreck your lives. BE DISCIPLINED. Enjoy each other, indulge yourselves, but DON'T EVER CROSS THAT LINE into putting your families at risk by thinking that you can turn this into a wonderful MARRIAGE or open liaison, because you can't. It's in the nature of the beast. If you allow yourselves to go too far, you won't wind up dancing naked on some Greek isle; you'll wind up hating each other and probably everyone else who you know, too. Set realistic limits on what you can do together, and respect those limits conscientiously.

Wild affairs can be great, but too many people let their emotions (and their genitals) take over. You must stay in control, or your goose will be cooked.

Now go HAVE FUN!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Fri, 10-03-2008 - 11:21pm

OMG.....thank you..... that has got to be the sweetest reply I could have gotten.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Fri, 10-03-2008 - 11:49pm

Hey, my pleasure entirely.

It's not the worst thing one could do to another person; the worst you could do is LETTING HIM FIND OUT. Protect your family, protect yourself, and live life to the fullest.

Love. ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2008
Sat, 10-04-2008 - 10:41am

I've read a lot on this board, haven't replied much, but I had to respond to this one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
Sat, 10-04-2008 - 12:26pm

You are SO not alone!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Sat, 10-04-2008 - 1:58pm
I know I have only gotten a few replies, but you ladies have really helped me so much already.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2008
Sat, 10-04-2008 - 9:12pm

*SIGH* I wish someone had told me this 2 1/2 years ago............very good advice to follow. I wish I had been disciplined....now I find myself alone (got divorced since I met AP) and every day wishing and wanting and hoping he leaves his wife because I dont want to be alone and I believed in my heart we were soulmates and believed he wanted to be with me as badly as I wanted to be with him. Starting to think thats not the case now...........


flygal

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2008
Sun, 10-05-2008 - 12:30am
I think you need to have the time of your life.....Just make sure to keep it simple
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Sun, 10-05-2008 - 10:05pm

I am definitely going to continue to have the time of my life and enjoy this affair to the fullest. I am going to try to keep it simple and enjoy whatever time we get. This month is going to be tough though. His wife is being induced in a week and a few days so I think he is going to have less time this month to see me. My H goes away on business again on the 26th... I'm hoping I get two more nights with my AP...... might be cutting it alittle close....


Thanks to everyone for your continued support and advice.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Sun, 10-05-2008 - 10:34pm

"I know I have only gotten a few replies, but you ladies have really helped me so much already."

HEY! I AIN'T NO LADY, DAMMIT!! :-)

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