Both Married and Loving Others

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Both Married and Loving Others
81
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 2:57pm

OK . . . I should point out that I'm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 11:42am

I'm sorry you feel like you can't post here.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 11:45am

You are on a board that is predominately women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 11:50am

Again with the assumptions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 11:55am
I'm not offended by anything you are saying.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 11:57am

fkam,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 12:03pm
Men stay because we have a "suck it up" attitude with marriages and a lot of other things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 12:07pm

Thank you for the tip on

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 12:08pm

hi, i just had to respond to you after reading your posts. I for one admire your honest at least to the board. I can understand where you are comming from, and as for the situation that your in then if you ap has made her own mind up in what she wants and how she would like to go forward with the affair, then she is adult enough to do that. You say you havnt expressed your mind to her but only to this board, well i for one can admit that i too have had selfish thoughts of my ap, thoughts that although i know would make me happy are not thoughts that i would express to ap. This only because we are both adults, we are both open and expressive of our feelings for each other, but and its a big but their are some things that are just best left unsaid, this i think is due to the fact of having respect for the person you love and want to be with, certain things you do forsake because you know it would not help the situation if spoken out, but most of all what one wishes in their own mind should come second to the actual ap making up their own minds without that influence. So at least any decisions they make then they have done so because of their own wants and beleifs

"be yourself, disguise not, for your a truly unique beautiful being"


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 12:11pm

I do understand where you are coming from as I wrestled the same demons.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 12:26pm

>>>"We both believe that we can be partners with our spouses and raise kids in an amicable fashion. "<<<

Have you two discussed this with your spouses? If you haven't then DON'T assume to include your spouses in this amicable equation.

>>>"She desperately wants a baby. She wants it to be mine, as do I, but that simply can't be"<<<

Ahhh, but if two people wants it bad enough, I wouldn't be surprised if they would come up with a justification to have it. It may be done subconsciously then what.

>>>"All 4 of the parties involved are highly educated and civil people."<<<

This is where you're wrong. 4 of the parties are NOT involved. Only two are. The other two of the parties are being doped behind their backs.

>>>"Her H loves her, she does not love him but thinks he is a decent guy who will make a good father."<<

So, she just use people who loves her like that? That doesn't say much for her character.

>>>Yes, knowing about an affair would be damaging. But they do not know and hopefully never will. We are not reckless. Most of our relationship is via email."<<<

News flash! emails is one of the most common way for D-day. As I said, It's not "if" they find out but "when".

>>>"We both selfishly want to be together forever."<<<

But, you're coming up will all kinds of excuses not to be honestly together forever.

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