Both Married and Loving Others

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Both Married and Loving Others
81
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 2:57pm

OK . . . I should point out that I'm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2006
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 8:36pm

I still don't see how that sets his post apart from others here in such a way that he can get so completely pounced on. I could have very easily been the exact same situation, yet I'm a woman.

Here's my truth - I left my M, I don't have kids. My AP is risking losing me to another because he isn't able or ready to leave his M yet. No, he couldn't push me to leave, he didn't push me to leave, I left on my own accord.

Let's completely put this shoe on the other foot. Let's say I decide to stay in my M, I decide that I want kids and know that I can have them with my H. However, in my heart I love AP and he's the one I want to be with yet, because he won't leave, I make the choice. The choice to stay in my M, have a child and have my A. Am I going to get completely flamed for my CHOICE?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 10:31pm

Waving back at you Softeyes! =)


I agree that his posts are nothing out of the norm here on MAS - the difference is that he's male.


Fkam - I'd like to welcome you to the board! You've been met with some harsh words but I do hope that it doesn't push you away.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 11:18pm
Soft, you are exactly right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 7:01am

Your truth is that you LEFT your M.


His truth is he has not, and he will not.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2006
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 10:12am

Hello Ladies (Softeyes, Lost, WIP)

Softeyes - I think you were right on the mark.

WIP - I agree, I have seen way worse stories.

Everyone interprets things differently.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 10:17am

E-xactly! Pre-cisely! Pisces, you Still don't understand how it is possible to be supportive without being enabling? Here is how. You tell someone, look, dude (or dudette, if it's a woman posting), juggling people's lives like that and Especially bringing a child into this entirely effed up situation so that your AP can solidify her M so you and her can safely continue your A, is not a decent thing to do. If you both love each other the way you claim you do and are so repulsed by your spouses the way you claim you are, there are more productive and wayyyy less harmless ways, that you can consider, to be together. You don't have to choose the most screwed up and hurtful one. Plus, we understand that you have little respect for your respective spouses, but pleeeease, try to be at least a lil tiny bit decent about that. Just because you are having an A on them does not make you superior to them in any way, shape or form, and does not mean that you should be referring to them in such a condescending manner.


Enabling would be: oh hunny, it's okay. You have to do what you have to do. It's an A. You soooo love each other, you deserve to be happy. Whatever it takes…


If you still don't see the difference, Pisces,

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2008
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 10:23am
Geee-freakin'-whiz! fkam, I am so sorry but it would appear that your thread has been hi-jacked by a bunch of mad kitties with their claws unsheathed! Goodness girls! Back to your corners!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 12:01pm

Glad to see sound mind....... Ox & Cat, you're both now my new hero!!!

I still say, this is NOT the "MY AFFAIR ENABLING SUPPORT BOARD" Where people are encourage to go "willy nilly" without a care for the innocent people they can hurt.

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 1:26pm

I'm sorry, did I miss the "encouraging" posts ... the enabling posts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 1:52pm

LOL.How dramatic. I recognize somebody's influence, clearly… Let's pull our hair out, wrench our arms, roll our eyes and just generally be a chorus in some Ancient Greece tragedy…


WIP, relax already, okay? It really isn't as horrendous and evil as you are trying to picture it, for the reasons of your own… :)

 

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