boys are weird
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| Sun, 05-02-2004 - 9:12pm |
I'm talking about the 47-year-old teenager I have been seeing for eight months. I can count on the fingers of one hand the times he has ever touched me in a non-sexual way. Once, he kissed me goodbye of his own initiative. Once, he held my hand in the car. Once, he stroked my hair very tenderly while I gave him a blowjob (until he realized he was doing it, and immediately stopped. LOL). And on Friday night, in bed, after a semi-argument, he put his leg around me in what might have been classified as a hug had his leg been an arm. Then he poked me in the eye on purpose. But up until the poke in the eye it was almost a hug.
What is UP with that? Does he think he'll burst into flames if he does anything that might be interpreted as affection? I used to feel all kinds of emotional angst about this (it's such a contrast to my H, who is very cuddly) but I'm so used to it now...it just adds to his juvenile brand of charm. Actually, it makes these little "accidental" expressions of affection very precious to me...like momentary glimpses of what he feels but can't say. I wouldn't trade my coldhearted OMM for an platoon of cuddly guys. Boys are so weird. :)

Your first sentence..." he almost hugged me- It must be love". Yeah girlfriend, I hear ya. I've had the same thoughts. "he called me when I was on business trip... it must be love". What am I - 16 yrs old again? Sure feels like it.
What IS up with them? Would showing a wee bit of affection kill them? They mus think that. But as you said the little 'accidental' acts of affection are what sustain you- me as well. I just need to be able to pick them out and accept him for who he is. And by the way, I would love to make the first move to send this to a new level- but I really believe he is not "there" and will not ever be at that point. Well, at least not with me; BUT if he would want to "kick it up a notch" I would accomodate. I just hope that if that ever happens I recognize the 'signs'. Not too worry about at this writing however.
Also, is my self-esteem high enough for me to accept his expressionless ways? Sometimes yes; other times no. Ok, more times the no part.
Today is a new day... I can make it good or bad based upon me and only me. So- regardless of my pining over this non-expressive MM, I will charge onward and upward inside my being to become a better me. Boy, I better be able to believe what I just wrote. Seems I'm becoming my own shrink- scary!
Gee, do I ever ramble.... I should be on the radio....
Love ya, this board is a godsend.
v.
Your man is 47? Well, there you go.
For hundreds of years it was commonly believed and taught that men who give too much affection will spontaneously sprout breasts.
The initial thrilling appeal was certainly there -- our own set to fiddle with and obessess over, looking at them no end with no one rightfully complaining about it, etc. However, the fear of abuse from fellow men in the public baths of Rome finally brought male affection to an end.
Until the 60's, when Free Love abounded and men suddenly discovered the whole thing about sprouting breasts was a cruel myth propagated by misgynistic gladiators ages past. You could in fact give affection and love without fear of any sort of sudden mammary changes.
But since your man was born in the late 50's, he would have learned "manliness" from his father, no doubt himself born in the days of World War II, a barren era for boys hugging and offering affection. Thus, your man likely didn't have the benefit of new information and even now probably fears the appearance of breasts should he attempt to really hug you.
Just offering a glimpse into the male psyche... that's my job.
BTW...
"what might have been classified as a hug had his leg been an arm. Then he poked me in the eye on purpose."
Thanks. You made me snort my coffee...
rain
I've been following your posts and i've seen sometimes that the feedback you've received here has been discouraging. You know what, you are going to be fine, with or without this MM!!
Contrary to some of the folks on here, I'm not convinced that feeling things deeply is always such a terrible thing. Strong emotions are what being alive is all about. You sound like a fully alive person to me, even though you're not feeling well. I admire that. As long as you don't COUNT ON your MM to MAKE you happy, he might just bring some needed fun into your life, as a friend OR a lover. Sometimes the friends we make are just a way of taking care of ourselves, you know?
And by the way, as awful as my childish OMM sounds, he's not...he's the most fun person I've ever met. And I know he loves me. Not everybody expresses things the same way...life is learning!!
Take care, girl.