Broke it off, could use support

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2008
Broke it off, could use support
2
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 4:21pm

Hi everyone,


I have broken off my A a few days ago, and gone back to the H now.


Basically, I realized that the AP - at least at this point - isn't as emotionally there for me as I need him to be. His reasoning is that he is afraid to be close to me with my situation so tentative (I left my H for a few months), and he's had other relationships where he wasn't sure where he stood, and therefore withdrew.


I understand it; I wish it were different. But because of this I had an emergency and felt unsafe with him (because of the lack of care), and went back to the H who showed enormous consideration and care.


So we're done. BUT... I still have feelings for him, and this is hard. We're still texting. He still tells me he loves me, but I know he's wrong for me and we really have no future. I just don't see that emotional connection we have via text in person. And there are things about his personality that drive me crazy. BUT... you see what I'm doing here! :) Ugh!


Just wondering what you guys think. Thanks in advance for any advice/support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2008
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 4:35pm

Hey hon! Tough I know. But like they say do it like ripping off a band aid. Cut off all contact with him. It will make the withdrawl easier. No texts, call emails, IM, nothing. You are back with your H and if you are going to make that work and it is truly what you want you need to give it your all. Grieve for the loss of this R sure but the more you talk to him the easier it will be to get right back to where you were.


Also feel free tocheck out the Ending an Affair Support Board. They are quite a good group over there. As well as keep posting here we have all had some experience with ending it. I know I have for sure. :)


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlending




iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2008
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 6:57pm


GOOD FOR YOU!! That shows a lot of strength and courage. I wish I could be that strong today! You should definitely got EAS they are great and will support you as you kick the AP addiction. Gosh, your AP not being quite emotionally there sounds like mine, I can relate. Funny I think in an emergency my AP would be the same .... which should be a RED BLINKING LIGHT which say RUN!!!! I can sort of see that, but for some reason I just don't have the courage to say good bye.

I think you made a wise decision. A are very destructive beasts, for the most part, and our self-esteem can only take so much. I wish you the best!

MW