Broken...need thoughts
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Broken...need thoughts
| Mon, 04-06-2009 - 2:02pm |
So I'm not sure where to start. I've been watching these boards for months now and have always been afraid to post but after a few weeks ago I need someone to talk to and get advice from. Who better, right? So I am married with children and obviously not happy. I have been planning on ending my marriage because it has turned into a friendship with no attraction

this is the right board. but i'm not the right person to help you because i don't share that experience. but i will share your confusion - and be angry with him on your behalf.
Mrs.
Hi uncompleted,
I'm sorry this is happening to you. Your OM is obviously very conflicted about his values vs. his actions. It's heartbreaking when we think that someone we love wants the same things we do, and it doesn't turn out to be the case.
I think your OM deserves a little 'silent treatment' on your part, let him think the whole situation over and see if he contacts you. If he does, then you can discuss the state of his internal conflict and you'll have a better idea of what his intentions are. Don't start chasing after him, that would be the WORST thing you can do - you never know how bad his guilt is and he may turn on you. Let him sort it out while you go on with your life.
big hug and good luck,
trixie
Trixie has some great advice.
Another suggestion I would make is to read your own post as if it were written by a woman you care for - friend or relative. Sometimes looking at our words as if someone else has written them makes some things jump out at us. See if you get any other insights this way.
Also, it's been my experience that men who have such qualms about things go back and forth with it. Some time goes by and they get all "hot" again, then you get intimate and there they go "cold". If you can live with it, and learn to "expect" the cold, then it's not as hurtful. But it may never really go away - that push and pull. It might, but it might not. Decide if you can live with it.
I'm sorry this is hurting you so.
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
You've got a lot of choices. I