this bugs me...
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| Mon, 07-26-2010 - 11:24am |
Just read the "meeting a Chore" post...feeling a little similar but didn't want to hijack.
On a good note AP and I have recovered pretty well from his trips in June. We have seen each other every week and talked everyday. BUt something is just really bugging me. Well a couple things actually.
One being the wife's FB page that I CAN"T LEAVE ALONE!!! What the hell is wrong with me? It makes me miserable. She has posted beach pics...several are of the two of them together all huggy. Saying my sweet guy. Our sweet family...blah blah blah...ugh. BUt then from him they are in serious trouble. They are are totally disconnected, never have sex and are in MC!! So it seems fake but makes we wonder how bad things really are at home. I want to ask about this stuff but I don't want him to know I am looking her page. (We are not friends, her page is wide open)
Secondly, We have had IC 3x this month. The 1st. a hotel day when he came home from his trip, 2nd a car quickie when I cam home from mine and 3rd, he came to see me when H was out of town. The first and third times obviously where much more time consuming and he never fails to let me know how much he is missing at work to be with me. His phone rings non stop and he is always checking it. Sometimes he has to take a call. I'm actually pretty cool with it. Never give him a hard time about it. I am always grateful that he makes the time. And I say it "Thank you for making time for me". It's his response that bugs me. He says"well if I didn't you would have flipped out, or I would have had to deal with you...etc...you would have been reading into it for hidden messages" Now I told HIm I would have NOT flipped out I would have been disappointed but not mad! It's all said in a light hearted manner but I would love for him to say just once that he was as excited to see me as I was to see him. Obviously he is not doing anything he doesn't want to be doing, he's not THAT self sacrificing lol! BUt it does make me feel bad. Does he feel that way a little bit? Why can't he just enjoy it fully, or let me enjoy it fully? I tell him all the time thank you for making time for me. He knows I appreciate it fully. And honestly, he has a good time too if you know what I mean!
Should I say something about either of these things, and get the "you're over thinking it again" speech or just lean way back and make him beg me to see me again? I could turn it on him easily but have to wait for him to pursue a meeting. Then go on and on about all the things that I am putting aside to be with him. I know he cares about me in some way. He's not trying to be a jerk. I just wish he could show me.
Chech

I wouldnt say anything about his wife's FB page.
Thats what a friend tells me too. Still makes me nuts....
On the other..I'm dying to just ask him..however the moment has sorta passed but It's still nagging at me. I don't want to regret bring the topic up...but then I don't want to be someone's obligation either. Like I'm a bully or something. Does he do that so that he doesn't have show me any real feelings?
I have come to see with my AP that the macho side of him comes out sometimes and he doesnt want to seem senstitive.
Yeah, I think that would bug me, too.
anotherseyes