Can the 2nd man tell?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
Can the 2nd man tell?
21
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 12:50pm
I posted here last week. Last month, after more than 25 years of faithfulness to my H, I began an A with OM, who comes to my home every weekday after my H leaves for work, and we have two or three hours of mind-blowing sex . He’s so romantic -- every morning, OM arrives at my door with a rose and a piece of chocolate for me. I think that I’m starting to fall for this kid.

Anyway, ironically, the A has actually improved my M. My H might be beginning to suspect that I’m having an A. For the past week or two, he has is suddenly not completely focused on playing golf and watching sports on TV, and now devotes a little attention to me. He’s suddenly rediscovered sex. This weekend, he initiated sex with me three times. Before my A began, he wouldn’t have done that in two weeks. I don’t find IC with my H disagreeable, just boring. I just lie there in the missionary position and moan a few times until he’s finished. He's never satisfied like OM does in 25 years. Anyway, I guess that when a woman gets attention from another man, her self-confidence improves and she becomes more attractive to her H.

I think that my H suspects that I’m having an A, but has no idea with whom. Even though they are a generation apart, H and OM have become fast friends, so I don’t think that H suspects him. On Saturday, they went golfing together.

On Friday, as usual, OM and I made love for a few hours in the morning, then he returned in the afternoon, and we were again intimate. My H came home from work about an hour later, and as soon as he arrived, he tried to initiate sex with me. He’s never done that before. I really panicked. I was afraid that if I had IC with my H, he would be able to tell that I had been with someone else only an hour before. I told H that I was too tired and refused him. I was able put him off that time, but I’m afraid that next time I won’t be so lucky.

If a woman has IC with one man, then has IC with another man an hour or two later, can the 2nd man tell that she’s been sexually active?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 1:35pm
I am not sure that a man can tell or not..maybe the men on our

posts can advise.

I know if you do that "K" thing, that tightens your V

muscles and it is supossed to make it tighter..

Sorry, but wish I had all the S you are getting......i would

be alot happier also!!

Good luck,

Bunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 1:38pm
I totally agree with you bunny, she definatley has it going on< I wish I had it like that.lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 1:59pm
Well without getting completely graphic.... and assuming you're not a sweating mess, nor are you acting any differently (nervous, weird, off)

I'd be inclined to say that you could probably pretty much pull it off if the first guy were not to do the deed anywhere he should not be. By that I mean Um... you might be moister than normal, caused by you and you alone and I would think you'd be able to explain that.. so you're a little bit worked up - can't a girl get a little horny around here?

Elf - who can't believe she's writing this.





iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 2:26pm
Thanks to all for your replies.

You raise a good point, Elf. I think that if I were with my H an hour after OM, even if my H could not detect anything physically, I'd be so nervous that I might give myself away.

I can't believe that I'm talking about this either!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 2:46pm
Love~

I used to do this all the time, and my H never knew. Here's what I did. (This is also assuming that you aren't using protetction even though you should be IMHO ;) )

Purchase those feminine wipes. And after having sex with OM, go to the bathroom and pee(which you should anyway to prevent bladder infection) and use one of the wipes, and then wipe with regular toilet paper. This helps clean you up, and get rid of the smell. Then immediately I did Kiegel's. Just contract that muscle several times, and hold it for a couple seonds and release. It doesn't take long.

Then depending on the aerobics that may have been done, just generally wash up with a wash cloth and some soap. Again, I would do it "there", and use another feminine wipe, and then once again dry off. Since you are at home it should be no biggie.

Give it a try, it always worked for me. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 3:50pm
Sheesh... what an education a guy can get here today...

OK, male perspective.

Never knowingly followed anyone else... but...

OW and I are kind of driven in that area. We've had really intense sex for over an hour, took a shower, fifteen minute nap... then that soft, cool skin against me... hmm...

Even after a pretty wild hour, a quick shower and a few minutes to calm down it seemed very much like a new body. I remember being somewhat pleasantly surprised and amazed...

However. I would steer your H clear of performing oral on you. Chemistry being what it is means unless you're particularly dilligent there will probably be some residual scent, taste, or sign of activity, depending on time as well.

And just for amusement purpose... I've gone home from the OW before to have the W surprise me by initiating. It did freak me out and I definitely wasn't having it... but I sympathize with you.

rain

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 3:56pm
I'd say be very careful. The physical evidence is enough (face flushed, the post coital scent emanating from your pores, any other evidence in crucial areas) to make someone suspect something is up, especially someone who has been sleeping with you for 25 years. Our partners tend to know us instinctively, particularly after that long of a marriage, so it's important for you to be vigilant about covering your a**!!

Good luck!!! And man, EVERY DAY???!!! WOW. Jealous, jealous....lol.

KC

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 7:47pm
Oh my gosh! I always get worried that she can smell me on him! I know it's happened to him once - that she initiated after we were together and I guess he made sure he showered first (of course, my response was - why do you tell me these things...?? His response back to me was..well, Baby Doll..I got what I wanted!) I think in the past year - my H has only tried once or twice after I was with MM - I just told him I wasn't in the mood. I have a hard time (sorry to anyone who can do this or more power to you!) being with my H after MM (esp because it's such great S**!!!!)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 10:40pm
I think DH can tell when I have been with OM. Not like a suspicious thing ...more like a vibe or pheremone. "I'm tired It's been a long day at work. Traffic was miserable. Never found a suitable pair of shoes for work etc" followed by "I'm gonna grab a shower and I'll be right with ya"

Om I only "see " at the end of our work day and I know he's not getting a nooner. He just asks me if I "got lucky" or "gave it up"

It's like they tag team and they don't even know it. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2004
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 5:53am
Without being overly graphic, a man can absolutely tell! However, he has to be looking! Most of the male spouses arn't connected enough to notice, however if they "wake up", yes they can tell. (Sorry, to disparage your spouses)

Because I know both my women very well, moisture is the tip off. Specifically, the type of moisture. It's a huge tip off! And, there is a taste that occurs no where else in nature. Early in my marriage my wife thought she'd slipped one past me after a night out with the girls. She was still in the mood when she got home and the alcohol causec her to "forget" to keep my face away from there. (I've often wondered if she really forgot) Anyway, that brought the festivities to a quick halt and after some feeble denials, the truth came out.

Frankly, I'd make the other guy use a condom. Heck, there's stuff out there that can kill you and stuff that'll make you wish you were dead. And don't forget, you don't know what OM/OW spouses are up to!

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