Can An Affair Remain Strictly Physical?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2009
Can An Affair Remain Strictly Physical?
29
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 12:11pm

I have been enjoying a PA for about 8 months.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 1:48pm
I've only been in my PA for 3 months, but i would answer yes. I love my husband and family, but lacking in the physical front. AP and I are very similar, I think of him as a very good friend. But I don't think we would make good life partner together.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 2:06pm

That is a very good question, hlinn. I am a MW 5 months into a PA with a MM. We're both in our mid 40's.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2009
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 4:30pm

It sounds like we are in very similar stuations. My W has no interest in sex anymore. (We're in our mid 50's) My AP is in a similar situation. AP and I have been friends for over 30 years but began our FWB arrangement 18 months ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 7:17pm
Well, I would once have said yes but I love my AP. Been almost 3 years. He is S and I am M. I can tell that he has feelings for me too, but hasn't said it. Said he didn't want to go down that road, a long time ago. I would say that prob most women develop emotional feelings, although they will tell their AP that they don't, if they think, or they know, he doesn't feel the same. Do you have any feeling for her at all in that dept or just friendly and sexual? Do you hang out together or just have sex?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2009
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 10:19pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2009
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 10:49pm
For my own part, no, no A of mine could ever remain strictly physical. It's just not the way I'm wired. I don't think I take up well in bed with someone that I don't have much else in common with, so as I go through my brain and think of my previous partners, I can't think of anyone who I knew I would never be compatible with outside of the bedroom. In my current A, I think I am already falling fast and hard for my AP and I would be doing more to keep that to myself if it wasn't for his signals that he is feeling the same way. I have definitely kept my feelings hidden in previous As based on the tone that was set by my AP, but I can't think of a time when I have had nothing more than a physical interest in someone I went to bed with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 12:07am
I feel stuck, to be honest. I can't walk away and can't tell him how I feel-again. He knows, since I have already told him some time back. I do feel like we are getting closer. I saw him a whole lot a few months back. It was a month of pure bliss but he has backed off, now it's once a week. But before the great month, it had been once every few months. So, I am thinking he is feeling the same way about me. (I am thankful to see him once a week. It was hell for 2.5 years.) Whether it goes any further is another thing but I enjoy every minute with him. I love that man. It's just so hard. What you said about a distraction is so true. But you will always be distracted, no matter where you work, etc. He will always be on your mind because you love him. I think about mine 24/7. Really pathetic huh? LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Sat, 01-02-2010 - 9:28am
Yes i believe it can... as i remember from my own experience. When i was a single woman, i had brief physical encounters with a married man...i never developed an emotional attachment, so it was strictly "fun" for us...he went back to his world, and i went back to mine...after a few times, i started feeling guilty so i broke it off. And no one was hurt, either. We are still friends, and he is happily on his second marriage. And now that he's married to the love of his life, i dont see him out cheating anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2005
Sat, 01-02-2010 - 10:58pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2009
Mon, 01-04-2010 - 10:54am

Do you have any feeling for her at all in that dept or just friendly and sexual? Do you hang out together or just have sex?


We are family friends.

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