Can An Affair Remain Strictly Physical?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2009
Can An Affair Remain Strictly Physical?
29
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 12:11pm

I have been enjoying a PA for about 8 months.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Wed, 01-06-2010 - 10:14am

I read your post and see that you certainly gave this A a lot of thought before entering into it. I can't say that I blame you. Sexual frustration is so damaging to a relationship and it's a shame when the partner with the LL doesn't get it. I am in the same situation, except it is my DH who has the LL. We've been married 27 years. I had an A 20 years ago for different reasons. Now I'm 5 months into my A (with the same AP from 20 years ago!!). Before he re-entered my life, I can honestly say I could count on both hands how many times my DH and I have had sex over the past four years. I have told DH numerous times--calmly, while crying, and while screaming--that his lack of physical interest in me makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. It shatters my self-esteem. I am an attractive woman who works out and have kept myself in very good shape. I have had numerous opportunities for an A, but have always resisted...until xAP came back into my life. That was just too good of an opportunity to pass up. Now, I just don't know what I'm going to do. I don't see a future with AP, although we are having a wonderful time right now and the sex is beyond awesome. I do see the possible end to my M, however, whether or not we get caugh in the A. There are more factors other than MML drawing me to this conclusion.


I am so sorry for your frustration and can completely relate to you. I have thought about approaching my DH about having an open marriage, but I don't think that would really work for either one of us. I just started T so that I can get my mind around our relationship and decide whether or not our M is worth trying to save. At this point, I'm about 90% sure I want out. What I'm not willing to give up right now is my A. Selfish? Probably. But life is too short to be miserable, IMO.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2009
Wed, 01-06-2010 - 12:18pm

Oh, thank you so much for sharing!


I feel so alone at times, not really able to confide in anyone what I am truly feeling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2009
Wed, 01-06-2010 - 12:25pm

Interestingly, just this week, she suggested something like this (sort of).

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Wed, 01-06-2010 - 2:30pm

I am beyond the pain of my M and lack of sex life with DH at this point. I simply don't care any more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 10:55pm
i am single and am also an ex-ow trying my best to find a single man. there is a mm who is a friend who i have feelings for. he has feelings for me too. we are not involved however. i drifted away from him however, as i did not want to become the o.w. again. his actions have indicated that he is not ready to leave his wife and i sure as hell is not going to wait on any mm to leave their wife again. nothing has been going on in the marriage for about 5 years, in fact 5 years this month. As i have never been married, i am always baffled why people whose marriages have practically ended (married in name only)stay, when it is pretty clear that things are OVER. can you give me some insight as to why you stay in yours, and i would also like to hear from the mm who wrote on this post. why do you all stay? Help me understand this.
k2002
k2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 1:47am

Everyone has

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2008
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 2:49am
IMAO: If all you are seeking is passion and the other person is cool with that then it is fine. However,after several years certain feelings might intrude as does social/sexual laziness. As well as when the excitement wears off.
In your case it meets your and her sexual needs. It is a sex affair with the rest being handled at respective relationships. This can work. But one must be very careful.
xvra
Hornycomments.com for myspace adult comments
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 11:47am
I thought going into the affair that it would be only
“"Truer words were never spoken -" Ah, but true words leave hearts broken! Truth is only for the wise - Lovers ought to stick to lies”

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 11:13pm

"Right, now if I wanted I could have another affair but, knowing how I am I choose to stay clear from affairs...".

i could make the same statement that you made. i agree with you TOTALLY. there are two married men right now, as i speak who certainly would not mind getting involved with me. i am steering clear of them and any mm who is interested in me cause at the end of the day, what i want is a permanent/long term relationship and a mm cannot always provide that. he may or may not leave his wife. depends on the man. i am the sort of woman who wants a permanent full time relationship and a mm cannot always provide that. one of the men, i don't have strong feelings for, but the other the feelings were strong. when i picked up that the one i had strong feelings for didn't seem ready to leave his wife,although he had strong feelings for me too, i backed off. although i still have feelings for him, i avoid him. i am not going to wait on any more mm to leave their wife. if a man treats me well and really show me that he loves me, i eventually fall in love with him. it cannot be about the sex only. that's not me. so if i get involved with another mm, i know i will fall in love with him.

k2002
k2002

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