Can guys keep "no feelings"?
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Can guys keep "no feelings"?
| Fri, 08-29-2008 - 12:16pm |
I know there has been talk on here about how guys can compartmentalize their feelings better than girls can.
| Fri, 08-29-2008 - 12:16pm |
I know there has been talk on here about how guys can compartmentalize their feelings better than girls can.
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Hi, I have been lurking for a long time. But after reading this, I wanted to share that I have the same questions. My AP and I have been together for 4 months. He confuses me. Some months he will contact me like crazy and then it could be weeks before I hear from him.
I sent him a long email about my feelings and he did not respond. I was confused and hurt. I had to go to him and then we met and talked but it was not how I wanted it to be.
He says that women complicate things, basically think too much about it. But then on a different day he would say that this relationship is not one sided, not just about sex.
Can guys really form no attachments? Is it just about sex and nothing else.
My thoughts:
1.
Hi Umwow -
I have been involved with my AP for eight months, he is the single one and he also says "No Feelings" "No Emotions"
"I think men just keep things in perspective. I don't know. Sometimes it hurts when I think he doesn't care for me the same way I care for him. He treats me so well when we are together and I try and tell myself that actions speak louder than words."
Well, I think they might try to keep things in perspective but sometimes they're not as in control as they'd like to think they are. After being off and on with my AP for years we're sort of back on. Now he said he didn't want a "relationship" and while I've found that hard I've put aside a lot of my feelings - I act affectionately but my heart is a little walled off. I don't give him lots of sympathy over how hard his life is any more.
He on the other hand? He's back cooking me dinner, holding my hand when we're out... On Saturday after we'd had sex I was teasing him a bit about how that was all he was around for and I was using it because I needed my bathroom painted. And he got really funny, giving me this big-eyed look and saying it wasn't just that.. So I gave him a gentle poke and said "aw, does you have a crush?" and he went very quiet and hid his face in my arms.
I actually think women can be harder than men, if they want to be. From reading round the boards it seems that women are much more likely to make a decision to end a marriage for their AP than the men are. If you crack a man's shell he's softer than a marshamllow.
Never mind....I do believe men have feelings as deep as our own but bc they are not the same ie the femininity they have a harder time expressing it!
LT xx
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