Can people tell?
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Can people tell?
| Tue, 02-10-2004 - 9:43am |
This morning I had an incident with the one person who knows about MM. Well, she doesn't know much of anything anymore, actually, since after I found this list I stopped talking about our R and, soon after, I told her we'd decided to stay just friends. Then, right before Christmas, I had a really rough day with MM and she saw me crying. I told her he was messing with my mind again but didn't make it sound affair-y at all. Since then I haven't mentioned him except conversationally, making it sound like we're back to just friends. HOWEVER, this girl is HIGHLY intuitive. When I very first started to tell her MM and I were having feelings for each other last summer, she finished the sentence for me. She said she'd seen it coming for a while but I couldn't figure out how, since *I* didn't even see it coming. I'd specifically told her I didn't think he was attractive. (And I didn't, until he started looking at me THAT way.) She said she had been watching the two of us for a while and knew it was only a matter of time before he started coming after me. So anyway, here he comes this morning and we're all three making conversation about silly stuff, but I just felt SO self-conscious. He and I have to talk to each other in front of people all the time and usually I do really well, but not this time. He seemed to be making an extra effort not to look at me and I kept glancing over at him and I know she noticed. Plus I kept saying things that made me sound pretty familiar with him. She knows we're friends, but I just kept thinking after I'd say something, "Maybe that didn't come out the way it should have..." She didn't say anything but I feel like she just KNOWS something's still going on. I fear what it looked like to her was that I had feelings for him but he didn't have feelings for me... (Although the fact that he was there in the first place goes against that -- he NEVER comes to that area at that time of morning, but all of a sudden today he decided to, and he was looking around for me when he got there.) Should I just avoid talking about him for a while, not even bring his name up???

Lilah, I think you can tell if you wear your A on the sleeve. If you are the type to hide it well nobody can tell. Also if you get paranoid about it - people can probably sense you uneasiness and figure it out - esp if MM/OM works in the same place as you.
Another piece of unasked advice - however close you may be to this friend don't tell her anything. Its better to keep it yourself. Too many "close" friends have messed up each other on this matter.
Oh -- and all of us, of course (smile)
hi lilah, you know, an observant person can figure out a lot by watching people interact.
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board