Can someone please help me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2003
Can someone please help me?
2
Fri, 10-31-2003 - 7:01pm
The past 2 days have been crazy. I've been in an A for alomost a year with someone I work with. We have been friends for about 5 years, but got serious last December. We are both married, but I am recently separated. He he still married with 2 kids. We both admitted we complete each other and love each other. A couple months ago, he was ready to leave. Now his wife wants to make things work, so he will try now for the sake of his kids (2 boys - 7 and 3). Well, yesterday my crazy soon-to-be ex (who is an alcoholic and hitting rock bottom) called MM's wife. My H told her he's had a PI on us for months and he has phone records and pix of us. MM told me to lie that nothing was going on, so I did. Then MM's wife wanted to see my H. I can't get a hold of my H-he's MIA. Today MM told his wife we had an affair from July to Sept and that we only kissed (which is such a lie - it was more like a year, we have been intimate and are in love). She called me to "thank" me for being honest yesterday, siad she hoped I "enjoyed" him, and asked for my side of the story. I again I lied for him (and said the same story he told her today). I feel terrible! I don't know what's going to happen now. I told him I want him to be happy but this is so devestating to me! He wants to call me over the weekend to see if I'm ok. But I'm a wreck and can't stop tembling. I love him so much and he loves me but now I don't what's going to happen to us or his marriage. What should I do? Can someone please help me tonight? I'm all alone and so sad.

Thanks for listening......

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 12:47am
I know this is hard, but I think you did the right thing...if he wants to try to work things out with her. Maybe in the end you two will be together, but atleast right now he knows he can trust you and that you are on his side. Hugs to you, I hope things work out and you feel better.

Wishing

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 12:55pm
Thanks so much for your kind words. I just wish I could get some more advice from all of you because I feel so sad a hopeless, and I don't know what to do. He now told her that he came over to my new place a couple of times and we were intimate once (oral only). This is still not the truth. Our relationship was so complete in every way, great conversations, have so much in common, sex was wonderful, always talked about our goals and dreams. We always saw each other, IM'd each other, e-mailed each other, talked on the phone and work together besides. When I got my new place, he bought all the painting stuff, bought me a tool box, and helped me paint and do dtuff to help me because I was on my own. All these sweet things he did to showed he cared so much about me.

And now, it is being charaterized as just kissing and one time oral sex. That hurts me so much, but I know he's doesn't want to tell her everything because he wants to be with his kids and a divorce would lessen his time with them (so he thinks). Now he said he have to call me someonetime next week, which is so different from what we're used to (usually every day).

Any other advice you guys could give me would be greatly appreciated!