Can u love both H & AP?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Can u love both H & AP?
18
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 4:44pm

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 5:04pm
Sure, but not very well, I'm afraid. There's no way you can be 100% present in either relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 5:11pm

Sillyme is right - but "not being 100% there" doesn't mean that you don't love them.

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2008
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 10:03pm
I love both my H and AP for different reasons. Each one brings out a new facet of my personality.
I am a more attentive and loving wife because I am happier and my H had started to pay attention to me again.
Part of that is due to the decreasing contact with my AP (recovering from DDay)only once a month but we talk every weekday.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 10:21pm

Okay, so for me that question is,

Can I love both W and AP?

For me,

I love my W compassionately.
I love my AP passionately.

My W's happiness, care and well-being are so very important to me. Please don't confuse compassion with empathy or sympathy. I truly do exchange my W feelings for my own, and have a deep understanding of her challenges and her issues. I would, if I could, do anything to help her be happy. ( I know, then why have an A...I know).

About my AP, I don't just mean sexually.

MPV

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2009
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 12:00am

I think you can absolutely be in love with 2 people at the same time. but you can't do that if you are hiding one of the relationships.


I knew a woman once who had 2 husbands. She was legally married to the one who had the better benefits at work, but the 3 of them lived together as 1 marital unit quite happily. When she got pregnant, they didn't know who the father was and it didn't matter to them at all. When she was in labor, both men were with her fully and completely. She loved them both completely.


But if you have to hide one relationship, you can't love both people the same or fairly, or 100% or anything else along those lines.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2008
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 1:20am

Let's see.....


First and most important...... to love any one person..you have to love yourself first.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2010
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 2:08am

i love my husband for the family we have created, for the stability we have worked for and for what we have achieved together over the years, and for the past that we share.


i adore my AP for the randy intimacy, the racy touches, the heated exchanges, soft hugs and tender stares.


i

when one does not love too much, one does not love enough --blaise pascal
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2003
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 5:03pm
I think so, but my reasons are a bit different.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2010
Fri, 04-02-2010 - 3:56am

I believe that people like us only love attention,excitement,butterflies and cheating thrill.

I left my husband for my ap/nowH,I was head over heels in love with him and I wanted to spend every second with him.I never experienced anything like that before.But guess what two years after being married to my ap/nowH,I started another affair with a man from my office.I thought I really love my now husband but i was wrong.
People say the social cliche "once a cheater always a cheater" for a reason and the reason is,it is a proven fact.

Another poster said here that she loves her friends for different reason and yet the same but her friends didn't stop her to make other friends they don't get hurt if she have other best friends too,but i see that working in an open marriage only.

I believe we are selfish people and only love ourselves.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Fri, 04-02-2010 - 8:47am

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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