I think there are different kinds of love. Loving one person does not necessarily mean you love another less. You just love differently.
I love my SO dearly, but like a best friend/a brother. I love my child and grandchildren in another way. Could give my life for them. I love my AP deeply and passionately (IN love) and a piece of my heart will always belong to my XAP.
That´s how I feel anyway.... and I´m not confused at all. I´m very happy with my life :)
"I think that saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" is not the same for everyone and each persons situation is different."
Even if statistically speaking 85% of all cheaters go back to cheating again.
"I have met people that were unfaithful but once they were in that special relationship they stopped there ways completely."
My friends who knew about my affair with my latest husband when i was first married think I found my soulmate and very happy and affair is the last thing on their mind about me,only if they knew.
"I think I'm wrong and very greedy at this moment but that doesn't mean I don't love H."
What kind of love is that in which lying is allowed,you and your H don't even know each other,you are not true to either of them and lying and deceiving is the form of definition of love in your dictionary,you need to see the situation for what it is and believe me that is far from love. Well atleast I am not lying to myself that I love my H and ap or either of them
"There's a reason why we are doing this"
The reason is simple because we want to do this whether you agree or not it is the truth,we want to experience forbidden fruit,it is that simple.
You have your whole life ahead of yourself to see if"once a cheater is always a cheater" If we are not going to be always a cheater than we would have stopped after first encounter.Well i accepted myself for who i am and i don't get hurt anymore and it is what it is.
I would say I love my DH, but I'm also very in love with my AP. It was the first affair for us both, and I don't ever want to become a serial cheater (neither does AP). We daydream about being married to each other, we have more compatibility than we have with our DH/DW, but we still love them too... Just differently.
niffer71 you explained it exactly the way that my AP explained it to me. "falling in love" he said was a period of time in a relationship some relationships have that feeling last longer than others. Now that he and I are with our respective spouses we are not "in love" but have a sort of feeling of endearment toward them. So I guess I feel "love" and "care" toward my H (and him for his W). I do not love AP because he is not allowing me to,but I know that I would easily fall for him.
Be careful... even if someone supposedly doesn't "allow" you to fall in love, it can happen anyway. Especially if you're having good sex, we seem to be wired to fall in love.
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I think there are different kinds of love.
Loving one person does not necessarily mean you love another less. You just love differently.
I love my SO dearly, but like a best friend/a brother. I love my child and grandchildren in another way. Could give my life for them. I love my AP deeply and passionately (IN love) and a piece of my heart will always belong to my XAP.
That´s how I feel anyway.... and I´m not confused at all. I´m very happy with my life :)
"I think that saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" is not the same for everyone and each persons situation is different."
Even if statistically speaking 85% of all cheaters go back to cheating again.
"I have met people that were unfaithful but once they were in that special relationship they stopped there ways completely."
My friends who knew about my affair with my latest husband when i was first married think I found my soulmate and very happy and affair is the last thing on their mind about me,only if they knew.
"I think I'm wrong and very greedy at this moment but that doesn't mean I don't love H."
What kind of love is that in which lying is allowed,you and your H don't even know each other,you are not true to either of them and lying and deceiving is the form of definition of love in your dictionary,you need to see the situation for what it is and believe me that is far from love.
Well atleast I am not lying to myself that I love my H and ap or either of them
"There's a reason why we are doing this"
The reason is simple because we want to do this whether you agree or not it is the truth,we want to experience forbidden fruit,it is that simple.
You have your whole life ahead of yourself to see if"once a cheater is always a cheater"
If we are not going to be always a cheater than we would have stopped after first encounter.Well i accepted myself for who i am and i don't get hurt anymore and it is what it is.
I respectfully (and strongly) disagree with the "once a cheater, always a cheater" statement.
You have some good points there, but as a cheater (not a nice word!) both before and after my marriage, I think it's something more.
I do think I fall into "once a cheater, always a cheater".
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