Can we do this for 20 years?

Avatar for kmbr982
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2003
Can we do this for 20 years?
2
Mon, 09-01-2003 - 8:39pm
I have been with my MM for almost two years now. He always talks about a future for us but I guess I have always been skeptical since after all, he is married. We have always had a good relationship, we are open, we go out in public together with his friends and there is no way his wife could not know about me. I guess lately things between us have been uncomfortable, we both obviously have things on our minds about our relationship and lately haven't had the time to talk about them. Maybe us avoiding the subject of us is the basis for our uncomfortable feelings. I don't know. I know I try to keep things light and fun always and I try to be supportive and loving but I also try to be realistic. After all, he has been with me for almost two years and yet he is still with his wife also. Sat. night we were out and he stated he's confused and he looked at me and asked if we were going to keep doing this (meaning our relationship) for the next 20 years? And I said, I don't know. What I didn't say was I want to believe we have a future but he had to be done with the past first. What I wanted to say was I would love to let him be an everday part of my life but he had to stop being an everyday part of hers first. Honestly, there's a part of me that's afraid to because I've been hurt by others so much in the past. What if he truly wants to move forward and I blew my chance? or What if he truly wants to end things and I didn't let him? I know I can't love him from afar for the next 20 years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Mon, 09-01-2003 - 9:53pm
KMBR,

His question was so vague, what did he mean? Was he wondering if you'd be his mistress and wait for another 20 yrs, or if you'd still love him for another 20 yrs. I guess doing this implys have an EMA so you have to answer that question for him. Sounds like a great time for a big discussion.

Keep things light and fun, but don't let what you want get pushed aside. I know that there is no way for me to get over MM, if we broke up, while I'm still at home with my H, my H irritates me and we don't get along, so everytime MM and I have had nc I run back because of my H. When I leave my H, and if MM doesn't leave his W, then I'll move on, but we'll always be friends to some degree.

I hope you get to have this talk again with him. Let us know

=)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 7:50am
Why 20 years??

Does he have young children that he wants to see graduate

from college before he seeks a D??

I hope you get the answers you need from your talk.

Aquagirl