Can we do a MASer's update?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Can we do a MASer's update?
31
Mon, 08-16-2010 - 11:15pm

Hi all,


Would it be ok Lexi to ask evryone to add a summary of their story? I get soooo confused :)


Ok me:


Im a MW, A with MW for nearly 18mths. Fantastically hot and heavy in the first few months with lots of 'I Love You's and 'We were meant to be together'. In Nov and Feb the guilt ot to him and he ended it. But both times we got back together within a few days.


We have now 'agreed' (me reluctantly) to have a lesser version of what we had. No more talk of emotion or futures. I am ok with this as we are both cake-eaters at heart and have no future ahead of us. My head is ok with this as he is an ego-mad workaholic which has driven his current partner and previous wife nuts.


I feel frustrated and stressed by this A now, because I feel like its just not as fun and attentive as it used to be. Having said that he initiates a lot of contact and calls. But the contact is short and friendly, and he is always sooooo busy and important.


I do believe he has feelings for me (he even said it last week which was a shock) but Im torn between ending it and just letting it die off. OPtion 1 would wound his enormous ego and may mean we will never even be friends long term (Im a people pleaser and would feel bad about this option), Option 2 may send me insane while I continually wait for contact and analyse what his text meant etc.


Added to this, my H of 20 yrs (after many years of MC and long talks) has finally 'gotten it'. Over the past few months he has been trying harder in our M than ever before. He is once again the man I married! Now I feel tremendous guilt and I can see that the purpose of this A was to make me see how wonderful my H truly is (faults for sure- but a loving and supportive man).

You are what you consistently do

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2010
Sat, 08-28-2010 - 4:35am
i really feel your words of why u are in an A and what makes it work for you. i actually hope to acheive some type of similar arrangement as well. and for the same reasons i also do not want a Dday whatsoever. it is an interesting choice. how do u juggle the conflicting guilt between the two men in your life
when one does not love too much, one does not love enough --blaise pascal

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