can you decide who you love?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
can you decide who you love?
22
Thu, 05-07-2009 - 11:08am

we talk a lot about decisions - good decisions, bad decisions. we hear talk about an A not being "real love" - just a band aid applied in a fog.

but can you decide who to love? do you pick out one person and say "great candidate. think i'll learn to love them." or do you actually fall into love without making a decision? does it just happen?

and yes i know: you can make decisions about your behavior once you experience that emotion so you still have personal responsibility yada yada.

but is the initial emotion out of your control?

Mrs.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Thu, 05-07-2009 - 11:13am

Since one-word answers are the "new black" around here:

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Thu, 05-07-2009 - 11:26am

do we do polls anymore?

and do you feel this deserves a quantitative versus a qualitative response? even if it means stepping out of the "new black"?

Mrs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2007
Thu, 05-07-2009 - 11:29am

No, because love sneaks up on you. Sometimes we try to fight it, but it still comes back. Real love is not forced...it just comes no matter what. I think we know what situations are good for us and which aren't. Yet it is hard to keep your heart from reacting.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Thu, 05-07-2009 - 12:15pm

Hi there -


No - I do not think we can DECIDE who we love - I believe that love simply IS - and no amount of wishing it to be or not be changes things.

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Thu, 05-07-2009 - 1:07pm

Mrs.


Hi.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Thu, 05-07-2009 - 2:32pm

I think we can be attracted to alot of people in our lifetime, but that we make a conscious decision to nuture


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2009
Thu, 05-07-2009 - 4:48pm

There is a difference between attraction and love.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2005
Thu, 05-07-2009 - 5:24pm

I have to agree with you tgrbabe 100%.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Thu, 05-07-2009 - 5:33pm

thanks, but i wouldn't count on that.

Mrs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2009
Thu, 05-07-2009 - 5:45pm

Wow.

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