can you decide who you love?
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can you decide who you love?
| Thu, 05-07-2009 - 11:08am |
we talk a lot about decisions - good decisions, bad decisions. we hear talk about an A not being "real love" - just a band aid applied in a fog.
but can you decide who to love? do you pick out one person and say "great candidate. think i'll learn to love them." or do you actually fall into love without making a decision? does it just happen?
and yes i know: you can make decisions about your behavior once you experience that emotion so you still have personal responsibility yada yada.
but is the initial emotion out of your control?
Mrs.

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Well...I relate to you & tiger on this one! For Sure!
I chose my H for our compatibility to live with one another-not romantic love. Although I believe he loves me in his definaition of "romantic"--(which, BTW, is NOT very romantic at all! lol)
I went looking for someone else to satisfy what I considered a "natural need". (all those things you mentioned, scots). When I came acrosss my AP...it was indeed love...almost at 1st site. There was attraction to his looks alright--but the love bloomed when I learned how identical we were on just about EVERYTHING.
I don't think I had much choice in the matter. I could choose to ignore what has made me so happy & focused in turning my life around for the better for myself--but I won't.
So that all said: I don not believe we "choose" to fall in love. But we do decide what to do with our emotions.
I know, I know...another variation on what's already been said.
You do not choose who you will love.
We can have fun going back and forth on this one, right?
I think the love at first sight is just that...love at first *sighting*, but we have to ultimately decide that we want, and then work, to get to know them more...because we likey what we see :)
I mean,
A friend and I have discussed this many times.
She has a theory that I have come to embrace because I've never heard it described any better than this....
Love is a realization, but commitment is a choice
Hugs everyone!!
Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love. ~Anonymous
&nb
I believe that love simply just "is."
You really can't be saying that one is not being honest just because they think that a person makes a conscious decision to
but can you decide who to love? NO
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