Can you ever be too careful.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
Can you ever be too careful.....
4
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 3:16pm
I'm so worried about H finding out about the A. I'm worried that he would even have someone follow me. Is there anything I can do to be extra cautious? We only talk on the cell phone and we only see eachother about once a week at a hotel. We do see eachother socially but I don't even make eye contact because I know someone will see the way I look at him. Any suggestions on how to be "not caught"? Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 4:24pm
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Edited 10/1/2004 6:45 pm ET ET by sally289
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 5:20pm
Be aware of the signs of an affair. Several websites will post lists of telltale signs that he/she is having an affair. I found a list like this on a website and realized that I was displaying all of these signs... shops for new clothes, sudden weight loss, guards cell phone and calendar, insists on answering the phone, starts to attend out of town conventions, becomes irritable with the kids when he doesn't call, checks e-mails constantly. Since I have become aware of the signs, I can be more cautious.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 7:45pm
Definitely make sure you do not get detailed billing on your cell phone. Text messaging is also a big no-no. When you meet, make sure it's at a place far enough away from your respective homes, because you might run into someone that either of you know (believe me- it's happened to us!!) Make sure you are still affectionate with H, make sure you still go out with H. Don't keep anything, like "souveniers" that are too tell-tale (like cards, emails, etc) Definitely make sure you delete emails! Ideally, I'd find a very good girlfriend that you can trust, who can help you out of a sticky situation just in case you ever end up there. Always make sure you have a contingency plan! :)

most importantly, use cash if you're getting a hotel room!

Have fun, and be safe!!

Hugs,

Complicated

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 10:03pm
I have not been in your situation but I did have a very close friend who was in your shoes. I encouraged her to tell her husband. There may be excitement in the secret part of having an affair but in her case her husband found out and had been collecting proof for months before he accused. He didn't accuse her alone he publicly made a scene with both of them and had enough proof that he now has custody of the kids. I know this is not what you want to here but maybe think about what the worst scenario is and can you handle it. She was in love and was making stupid mistakes along the way. I don't think when you are in that love state people think clearly. And as things get easier and easier to sneak by you become careless.

Good luck