Can you help me intrepret his behavior?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Can you help me intrepret his behavior?
7
Sat, 04-24-2010 - 4:48am

I'm a 34 year old MF and basically, I fallen in love with my married best friend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Sat, 04-24-2010 - 9:10am

I remember our original post and felt that it was a tough situation.. when facing challenges at home, it's quite normal to want to have some breathing room in your life, a little distraction, just to keep going.. of course, when that distraction gets in the way of fixing things at home, as you've pointed out, that's a problem..


i think you know what you want, it's just that it's so hard to let such a connection stay in the background when you're dealing with some tough stuff at home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Sat, 04-24-2010 - 7:58pm

Maybe he was waiting for a cue from you about how much space you needed and how long? When he contacted you after three days, you just started communicating again. He may have thought that if it wasn't enough time you would have TOLD him so, and by responding to his text you were saying "OK, I've had enough time".

If you really want and need the time, you have to give him a time line for it. "Please don't contact me for three months", or whatever time frame you have in mind. If he breaks the NC before the time is up, just don't respond, or send a quick "not yet" text. He will understand.

Proud to be a



Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Sat, 04-24-2010 - 11:09pm

I agree with whats been said. You need to work out what it is you want in the long term- which partner- and then act in a way that moves toward that goal.

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Sun, 04-25-2010 - 9:41pm

--
'Chill girls- sometimes there is nothing in a guys behaviour to 'read'- it just is what it is'.
---

well put! and thank you for the kind words.. much appreciated..

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 5:13am

No probs :)


I often find myself trying to work out what he meant by this, or why would he say that. It drives me bonkers.

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2009
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 1:30pm
You told him that you needed space and would miss chatting with him while you work on your marriage. It seems illogical to me that he would be confused after a few days what your intentions were/are and that it would take more than a week to fix your marriage. Frankly, I think he misses the banter and the ego stroking and is trying to see if he can still get you to respond. My OM did that to me all the time. When it comes down to it, it's generally all about their ego.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2009
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 1:41pm