Chill out. If you know for sure it's not because of another OW, then give him some space. Find something for you to do that you enjoy. Needy is not attractive. If he see that you're a strong confident woman who's secure enough to give him some breathing space, he'll love you more for it.
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."
I feel for you. I went through the same thing and I guess its like getting over any other addiction. It took time but I finally have become accustomed to this new limited communication. I got over the obsessing, the always thinking about him stuff. I still think about him every day, dont' get me wrong, but it doesn't hurt me....I am just happy and amazed that we can manage to stay in contact at all given our work situations and our family lives.
Hi scu, thanks for the response, I am going to start new today, and not concentrate on him so much, keep myself busy at home, and if I hear from him, great, if not, oh well, I'll be ok.
well, btrue, you can call me Piggy, if you like! and what you say is true, I kind of feel like I did in the begininng, I thought I was past all of this, thought I was
I totally get what you mean Iggy! I think he was attracted to me because of my confidence, my independence, my not being needy. Then slowly over time I became someone that I didn't even recognize when it came to him. I thi
I think I was becoming overly dependent on him to fill the void in my life..and that isn't his job. My happiness shouldn't depend on whether or not he took time out of his day to say hello to me. Now for whatever reason I am snapping back to being my old self. I love him to bits, but if he isn't going to contact me I'm not going to fall apart....or obsess.....(well maybe a little when I'm PMS). I need to have a full , rich and fulfilling life again. It is slowly happening that way....I went back to work, I am making new friends, focusing more on MY family....and I am trying hard to get back to the shape I was in when I met AP...that will do alot more for me psychologically than any pill that comes in a bottle or any book that Dr Phil writes...
It isn't easy....just today I was thinking how much I miss him...but when you are in this thing for the long haul this is just how it is..it's okay. I want AP to enrich my life, not BE my life.
I can't add one thing to what you said - it was perfectly and beautifully stated - but I wanted to let you know how amazing your words are - and how proud I am of you for getting to this point.
Now - everyone who is struggling - print Scu's words - and post them where you can read them every day - especially that last line - I want AP to enrich my life, not BE my life.
ABSOULTELY! I have to think back to why this started in the first place, and it was to enrich, so thats where I am heading back too. I feel better already, and like I knew, he was very sweet and kind to me yesterday, I am very happy he is in my life, and want to keep it that way, thanks so much.
Well first of all, if it doesn't work out between you and AP send him my way, because my xAP is nowhere near as thoughtful as your AP. No I'm just kidding, but it does sound like you are dealing w/ a really nice guy.
As for getting back to "normal" well I think once someone touches your life like your AP has touched yours, there is no going back. You can't unring the bell, NWIM? Besides if you're as greedy w/ your AP's time as I was w/ mine, there is no such thing as enough. I could live and breath that man. You know how if your w/ someone for so long eventually you need a breather? Well, I never got to that point w/ him. I could just bask in his love literally 24/7. That's how much I love him. Well those days for me and AP are over now, but I guess my advice to you would be to enjoy every minute you get. Try to stay busy when you can't talk to him, and enjoy the anticipation of each call/text/email.
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"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."
- Ramona L. Anderson
So nice to "see" you again Iggy.
well, btrue, you can call me Piggy, if you like! and what you say is true, I kind of feel like I did in the begininng, I thought I was past all of this, thought I was
I totally get what you mean Iggy! I think he was attracted to me because of my confidence, my independence, my not being needy. Then slowly over time I became someone that I didn't even recognize when it came to him. I thi
I think I was becoming overly dependent on him to fill the void in my life..and that isn't his job. My happiness shouldn't depend on whether or not he took time out of his day to say hello to me. Now for whatever reason I am snapping back to being my old self. I love him to bits, but if he isn't going to contact me I'm not going to fall apart....or obsess.....(well maybe a little when I'm PMS). I need to have a full , rich and fulfilling life again. It is slowly happening that way....I went back to work, I am making new friends, focusing more on MY family....and I am trying hard to get back to the shape I was in when I met AP...that will do alot more for me psychologically than any pill that comes in a bottle or any book that Dr Phil writes...
It isn't easy....just today I was thinking how much I miss him...but when you are in this thing for the long haul this is just how it is..it's okay. I want AP to enrich my life, not BE my life.
Scu -
I can't add one thing to what you said - it was perfectly and beautifully stated - but I wanted to let you know how amazing your words are - and how proud I am of you for getting to this point.
Now - everyone who is struggling - print Scu's words - and post them where you can read them every day - especially that last line - I want AP to enrich my life, not BE my life.
Hugs!!
Tgr
Well first of all, if it doesn't work out between you and AP send him my way, because my xAP is nowhere near as thoughtful as your AP. No I'm just kidding, but it does sound like you are dealing w/ a really nice guy.
As for getting back to "normal" well I think once someone touches your life like your AP has touched yours, there is no going back. You can't unring the bell, NWIM? Besides if you're as greedy w/ your AP's time as I was w/ mine, there is no such thing as enough. I could live and breath that man. You know how if your w/ someone for so long eventually you need a breather? Well, I never got to that point w/ him. I could just bask in his love literally 24/7. That's how much I love him. Well those days for me and AP are over now, but I guess my advice to you would be to enjoy every minute you get. Try to stay busy when you can't talk to him, and enjoy the anticipation of each call/text/email.
Best wishes.
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