j30gal, your post sounds very hurt and confused, and I'm so sorry you are in such pain, but A's are very painful places to be.
I would suggest you don't make your decision about your M based on the actions of your AP. If you are unhappy in your M, then you need to decide what you want to do about that. As I'm sure you're aware, an A is not an answer to a bad M. I know that all too well. If you want to stay in your M, then you need to give up AP and concentrate on staying in your M. But it sounds to me from what information you gave in your post, that you don't think there's much in your M except financial stability. While I understand why you'd consider staying for that, you don't seem to be able to handle it. I know it might be very difficult if you were to leave, but in the long run, you must do what is best for yourself and the happiness of your kids too. Only when you are clear about if you are staying or going from your M, can you consider AP. It would be a very unwise decision to uproot your kids from their family and move in with AP, just because he has decided he's ready. It cannot be just about him, you must consider you and your children first and foremost. From your post, I don't think you are ready to consider being with AP.
You said you don't trust AP? Just because he's had another affair besides yours, or for any other reasons? You said your AP left his W for you? Did you two ever discuss that? Did he expect that you would leave your H for him?
Don't make your decisions based on his wants, needs and expectations, make your decision based on you and your children.
Thanks pisces, I need to concentrate on what's best for those kids first and me, not when another person was ready to leave their marriage.
I asked AP not to leave his marriage as I was not in a position to leave mine, he said he didn't care and couldn't live that way anymore and would give me the time I needed to wind down my marriage (within reason).
I'm sorry but
j30gal, your post sounds very hurt and confused, and I'm so sorry you are in such pain, but A's are very painful places to be.
I would suggest you don't make your decision about your M based on the actions of your AP. If you are unhappy in your M, then you need to decide what you want to do about that. As I'm sure you're aware, an A is not an answer to a bad M. I know that all too well. If you want to stay in your M, then you need to give up AP and concentrate on staying in your M. But it sounds to me from what information you gave in your post, that you don't think there's much in your M except financial stability. While I understand why you'd consider staying for that, you don't seem to be able to handle it. I know it might be very difficult if you were to leave, but in the long run, you must do what is best for yourself and the happiness of your kids too. Only when you are clear about if you are staying or going from your M, can you consider AP. It would be a very unwise decision to uproot your kids from their family and move in with AP, just because he has decided he's ready. It cannot be just about him, you must consider you and your children first and foremost. From your post, I don't think you are ready to consider being with AP.
You said you don't trust AP? Just because he's had another affair besides yours, or for any other reasons? You said your AP left his W for you? Did you two ever discuss that? Did he expect that you would leave your H for him?
Don't make your decisions based on his wants, needs and expectations, make your decision based on you and your children.
I wish you all the best.
Pisces
I appreciate the honesty, yes, I agree with you.
Thanks pisces, I need to concentrate on what's best for those kids first and me, not when another person was ready to leave their marriage.
I asked AP not to leave his marriage as I was not in a position to leave mine, he said he didn't care and couldn't live that way anymore and would give me the time I needed to wind down my marriage (within reason).