Can't wait for next rendezvous
Find a Conversation
Can't wait for next rendezvous
| Sat, 01-10-2004 - 7:16pm |
I need to rant and rave. I think I'm wasting my time,or I'm just looking for something that I know is not there. My lover has told me under no terms we can move our relationship further than what it is now,a friend with benefits. Since I'm married and he has a live in g/f,we can't be anything more. He's very honest with me. He wants me to let him know if I feel for him more than I should to let him know. But I know if I do,he'll put a stop to all of this. We both don't want to do anything to hurt our partners. I know I can keep my feeling for him well hidden. I want so much more to be with him. Infact, if all goes well, we'll be together this Friday. My H will be away. He's going to Detroit with his brother to see the auto show, and wont be back till Monday. I know the reality of this relationship. I know deep down inside it wont work. But I can't stop thinking of him ever minute of the day. I miss him. I miss him and I know that as long as I'm married it wont work. Now don't get me wrong. My H is a wonderful man. I really have no reason to look for someone else other than a strong stimulating feeling with my lover. I've been with my for 17 years, 11 of which is in marriage. Sometimes I just want to be single again. But in the same breath, I don't want to be alone. For now, I'm just going to enjoy my lover when I can. As long as I can.
