caught... AGAIN

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
caught... AGAIN
3
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 10:49pm





Edited 9/18/2003 12:37:59 AM ET by lexylew

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
In reply to: lexylew
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 1:02am
My soon to be ex used to call me every name in the book. He used to say all kinds of rotten things and everyone knew what happened. I swear he has a bigger mouth then any female I know. I've told him that too. Anyhow, I was messing around before we got married to a mm. I felt so much guilt about it, that I told my bf at the time who later became my h. Well we of course broke up for awhile, then he said he could get passed it all if I stayed away from mm. So I tried and then I couldn't so I broke it off with bf, but then I decided that the mm wasn't right for me and for some unknown reason even to me I went back to my bf. He said he could get passed it and he still wanted to marry me. So we got married a year after this. During that whole time we got into all kinds of fights, mainly because he wanted to talk about what happened, but since he brought it up in a mean and rotten manner, I would just get mad. He used to ask me all kinds of questions that he shouldn't want to know about. So we still ended up getting married, because I thought he'd get over it with time. He didn't and his name calling and other stuff just grew worse and then I fell for another mm. Bad girl I know. I swear I didn't mean for either to happen. Well this one was so different, from any other relationship I've ever had, ever. I fell so far in love with mm that I left my h. I was sick and tired of the fights and the name calling and now that I was inlove with mm, I couldn't put up in act about wanting to be with h. Whenever he talks to me now a days, he still asks if there is another man. I always say no, I'll never admit that one. When I told him the first time he called the mm's w! He had already told her so it didn't do anything but add fuel to an already raging fire. I'll never admit to this one. They'd have to catch us in the actual act for me to admit anything. It never pays to tell, or admit those kinds of things. Just leave if you wanted to be there you wouldn't be cheating. And I know that I woudln't want a man around if he fell for another woman. I've told my mm that if he ever falls out of love with me to leave. I don't want him sticking around because it's easier or he doesn't want to hurt me. Actually his w got worried when she saw his cell bill. There was mostly two #'s on there. My cell and home phone. She called both, but I don't say my name on either. She left no message. We were actually together when she called my cell! When I saw the # I didn't know it, because it was his brother's! So he was like why's my brother calling you. Then she called again from their home phone. I about fell over and fainted! So he called home and asked her why she was calling his friends phone. She said she was curious about the same # on his phone bill, plus he went over. So she actually believed it was his buddies wifes phone. Denial! So deny, deny, deny! It will do no one any good to admit anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
In reply to: lexylew
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 1:23am





Edited 9/18/2003 12:38:36 AM ET by lexylew
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
In reply to: lexylew
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 10:05pm
lexylew,

I felt bad for what I did, even though the emotional stuff he did to me hurt just as much as what I later did to him. He even yanked me out of his car and dragged me by my shirt around the yard and pushed me to the ground, fracturing my wrist. I very stupidly forgave him and he never did anything like that again. But I was forever afraid of him. The thing that made me not feel as bad for the A, was for all the things he put me through first. I don't believe I would ever have done that if he had treated me with the respect that I deserved. So anyhow after we decided to work it out, this is after the A, he as I told you called me names while he was drunk, asked me questions that I couldn't believe he'd want to hear the answer's too. I felt like screaming and pulling out my hair! He was making me feel like a padded room in the hospital would be a vacation. When I brought up finally what he did to me in the past, he thought that my A was way worse then what he did to me. There was absolutely no excuse for my A! And in a way I agreed, I said I should have just left and not cheated. But I felt that I couldn't, I was afaid of him and of hurting him. When I finally did and was free, he sucked me back in with his kind words and his funny personality. Marrying him was a mistake. I should have known better & I will forever regret feeling the need to unburden myself. Because he never would have had that to hold over my head. Lie to the biggest degree and I would leave if you can. Because nothing will ever be the same, he will forever hold it over your head & why should you spend the rest of your life paying for it? I know we shouldn't do what we do, but sometimes things happen & I truely believe that if we were really happy or they were, it wouldn't happen. If you were really inlove with them, there is nothing anyone could say or do to make me stray. I know that I will never again want another, I never had that with any past relationship. So don't wait around because you think you deserve this punishment because you cheated. You must have had your reasons. And you could look at it this way. He doesn't deserve for you to stay when you are not inlove with your h. If you feel badly for leaving think of that. He's better off being set free to find someone who will love him that way. And you deserve to have a chance at being truely happy. Let me know how it's going. Goodluck! Be brave! P.S. Remember DENY, DENY, DENY!!!!!!