Caught in the middle......
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Caught in the middle......
| Sat, 10-11-2003 - 12:57pm |
I've been with my guy for two years, and we've been living togehter for one year. Before I got with my new guy, I was engaged to a young man who was in the military. We were together for four years. We ended up breaking it off because (two weeks before the wedding) he decided that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me, so I left him and came back home (to Chicago). He later met some girl, they later got married and had a son. When I found out that he had married someone else less than two years after we broke up I was devestated. What's worse is that she ended up cheating on him and giving him a std (that was later cured). Things got worse and they eventually seperated. During that time I had moved on and found someone new (my present boyfriend). Now, my ex-fiance calls me out of the blue and says that he always regretted leaving me, how much he still loves me and he wanted to call me but he was embarrassed because my family had paid for our wedding, and he was ashamed to show his face.He also said that the only reason why he married the other girl is because when she got pregnant (which was BEFORE they got married) she told him that she would terminate the pregnancy if he didn't marry her. So he married her because he didn't want her to have an abortion. Now he wants me to come visit him In Virginia Beach ( I live in Chicago) and spend the weekend with him.( All expenses on him) On one hand, i want to go see him because he was my first real true love, and I still care about him. I basically want to see if I'm completely over him. But I have this new guy who is wonderful (except we've been together for two years and we still have issues with communication and emotional support)but we're working on it. I love him very much, but something inside of me REALLY wants to go see my ex, but I don't want to hurt my new boyfriend. I have another friend (female) in Virginia who said that she'll cover for me if my new boyfriend calls to check on me. I have the plan all mapped out, I'm just scared to go. So my question is this: should I go to VA to get this out of my system? Or should I say "screw you, you jilted me at the alter ( so to speak) and now you have to live with out me? Please resopnd ASAP!
Signatures On
| Sat, 10-11-2003 - 1:25pm |
Don’t do it. You have nothing to gain from the experience. Your ex-fiancé screwed up by letting you go all those years ago. Let him live with the haunting thoughts of “what if I never let her go”. You had four years together with your ex-fiancé … that’s a lot of history. Let the history lay – no need to revisit it. He’ll always boo-hoo about losing you, especially because it was his mistake. By walking away at this point, you come off as the mature one. If you don't go to VA, he’ll undoubtedly have a heighten respect for you because out of the two of you, you’re still the one making the right decisions in life. He’ll always pine after you – that’s his problem, not yours. As for your feelings for him … a piece of your heart will always be reserved for him. Accept that, wish him well, and tell him for the rest of your life you’ll always smile fondly when you think of him. JMHO. Best of luck, whatever you decide to do.
